Mutiny Is In The Air

Insubordination has never been something Mike Nolan has looked upon with mercy. He's had a history of "disappearing" players (Barlow, Winborn, Jennings) in order to maintain his authority and aura of command. This year the facade of team unity was cracked when he threw Alex Smith under the bus at midseason and the dam burst several weeks later.

Looks like the captain has lost control of his ship and Alex isn't the only one that's fed up. Today's Chronicle has an article where two unnamed defensive starters are strongly critical of this administration...errr, staff.

Both players said they wanted a coaching change, citing numerous issues with Nolan they said have been setbacks for what they consider to be a strong defense: questionable personnel schemes, such as abandoning the base 3-4 scheme too often in favor of nickel and dime sub packages that left the edges and middle of the field exposed; favoritism that determines playing time; poor game and clock management; poor communication that extends beyond the Nolan-Alex Smith injury flap.

It's good to know that this team isn't full of mindless automatons of the type that Coach Nolan prefers. Hopefully this also catches the attention of the Youngstown ownership group and these meaningless wins at the end of a meaningless season don't cover up the fact that this entire year has been an unmitigated disaster.

Wrong Ball

What a play. Of course it would only work in high school, but neat nevertheless.



In other news, this team went on to lose the game 35-7. At least they didn't get skunked.

BYe BYe - 49ers 21, Bucs 19

The 49ers 2007 season has been over for several weeks now. But I'll give a little credit where credit is due. The team has put together a win streak (what are those?) and Nolan still has the guys playing tough.

Today's game was a hard-hitting, defensive battle with the Niners hanging on to win 21-19 (despite getting outgained 434 to 213) when Michael Clayton's heel came down over the end line. The Bucs quickly realized that having the Niners' pass rushers smack Jeff Garcia around was not worth the risk and basically conceded the game when they put in Luke McCown at the start of the second half. Shaun Hill continues his run of adequate QB play, which should ensure him a couple million dollars and a shot at the starting job next summer in training camp. Frank Gore had another good game and has gone over 1000 yards for the season. Clements had a pick that he returned for 62 yards and celebrated with the Niners Noise drum team afterward. Game ball definitely goes to (guess who?) Patrick "Bam Bam" Willis. 20 tackles, two sacks, two passes defensed, and a forced fumble. Unreal.

However the real story today was the final home game for 49ers legend and eight-time Len Eshmont Award-winner, Bryant Young.

A couple weeks ago, the lone remaining link to the glory years quietly let on that this was going to be his last home game. The tributes have been coming from every corner since then. He will truly be missed. The guy suffered one of the most cataclysmic leg injuries short of Joe Theismann (video of Theismann's injury - So gruesome, it made Lawrence Taylor cry). Fans of other teams will remember that over all else, which is a damn shame. BY was an absolute monster of a defensive tackle.

The Patrick Willis joke about him sacking a QB before the ball was snapped is something BY actually did one time. Against the Bears in 2001, he literally timed the snap so well, he was on top of the QB as soon as the ball was in his hands, forcing and recovering the fumble. He shifted to DE when Nolan came in and tried to implement the 3-4 and has had very productive seasons. He is probably still our best defensive lineman on a weekly basis.

There was an official changing of the guard today. Patrick Willis is the new heart and soul of this defense. But the year he has spent learning from BY is going to be invaluable down the road. Thanks for the memories BY and enjoy our retirement....after taking out the Browns next week.

Offseason Starts Early This Year

Clearly this is another lost season for the 49ers' franchise. Despite this weekend's matchup between defensive and offensive RoYs (Willis v. Peterson), it's time to think about January and beyond...in a bad way.

Rumors are flying that the Niners came close to acquiring Lance Briggs close to the trade deadline. But the deal hit a snag at the last minute due to NFL rules on signing franchise players. Same thing happened with Clements and he's now in Scarlet and Gold. Could we look forward to a Willis-Briggs core for the following several seasons? We shall find out.

ESPN.com's first mock draft is out (Insider protected) with the Pats selecting Darren McFadden (ARRRGH!!!) with the (projected #2 overall) pick they got from us last April. It also has the Niners picking up LSU's standout WR, Early Doucet, with the first rounder nabbed from the Colts (projected #30). Here's what Todd McShay has to say about Doucet.

Scouts Inc.'s three biggest needs: WR, OL, S
Projected pick: Early Doucet, WR, LSU
Obviously, the 49ers would like to have that No. 2 pick back from the Patriots, but they'll have to make due [sic] with the 30th pick. Doucet has been bothered by a nagging groin injury, which prevented him from emerging as a reliable No. 1 weapon at LSU this fall. But a couple fast 40 times and a big week at the Senior Bowl could help affirm his big-play potential for NFL decision-makers.

With the way both LSU WRs taken this year, Dwayne Bowe (KC) and Buster Davis (SD), have played, Doucet should be an immediate upgrade from our current pitiful receiving "corps." We'll have to wait and see how things shake out. I also predict a QB taken with our still-handy second-round pick (#33 overall). Dennis Dixon anyone?

Smith May Be Finished For Year, Faithful Yawn

ESPN.com is reporting Alex Smith's shoulder isn't improving and he may be shut down for the season. Honestly, does it matter? Lost season for him and the team. He now gets through week 8 next year to prove himself otherwise look for our 2nd round pick or free agent QB signing to start getting reps.

Irrational Exuberance

The Niners just snapped an eight-game losing streak and remain the worst offense in the NFL by a wide margin. But apparently they are a trendy pick this week. Niners Nation takes a look at the Scouts Inc. preview of this week's game against the Panthers, which conveniently ignores the past two months of futility this team foisted on its fan base. And the typically down-on-the-Niners Peter King expects them to stuff the Panthers for a second straight road win.

What the hell is going on here? Has everyone just been mind-wiped or are we really that gullible. This team's offensive problems can't be swept aside with one win. Can we also forget the more than troubling 484 yards of passing the secondary, the team's supposed strong point, gave up last week?

This is a matchup of two of the NFC's biggest disappointments this season. It will be interesting to see if the offensive explosion from last week carries forward into a winnable game, or if the Dilfer-led O regresses to previous form. I'm not holding my breath at this point (there's no reason to), but am hoping for an entertaining contest. Hopefully that isn't too much to ask.

VICTORY!!! - 49ers 37, Cardinals 31

What a ridiculous game. There were at least a dozen moments on Sunday afternoon when I thought, the offensive explosion notwithstanding, the Niners were headed for their franchise-record, ninth straight loss. After Gore rumbled 35 yards to give us the lead with 1:03 left, I felt good. Then the defense came out in a prevent to let the Cards march right down the field. When Donald Strickland gave up the 30-yard pass to the 1, I was ready to call this the newest low of a trying season.

Then a funny thing happened: this team showed some resilience. Strickland bounced back on the very next play to save the game with his textbook defense. The defense shook off a career passing day from Kurt Warner to stall the Cards' first drive in OT. Patrick (21 tackles?!) Willis saved the game with his hustle by chasing down Sean Morey and forcing Neil Rackers' miss. Andy Lee continued his All-Pro year by pounding a punt inside the Cardinals' 5-yardline that helped set up the defensive sack and Tully Banta-Cain's fumble recovery to end the roller-coaster game.

I can't remember being this entertained by a Niner game in a couple years. Even when Rackers' first OT FG attempt went through the uprights, I was left thinking "Well, at least we scored some points." Hopefully Nolan learned that sometimes opening up the offense and scoring points can actually win games.

Let's not lose perspective though: the Niners season is still a disappointment. The way they celebrated at the end of the game, one would think they had just clinched the division, rather than moved to 3-8. I still think this team will finish with 4 wins for the year, Nolan should be stripped of some power, and there are gaping talent holes at certain positions. But actually winning a game for the first time in over 2 months makes it a lot easier to think about that stuff.

Changes. They Are A-Comin'.

"I see no changes. Wake up in the morning and I ask myself, 'Is life worth living? Should I blast myself?'" -Tupac

I think every 49er fan has had the same thought running through their head at the same point this season. While someone answered Tupac's question for him (he's not alive on Mars, idiots), looks like Denise DeBartolo York has finally heard the fans' cries.

It sounds like Alex Smith (out for at least 2 more games) may have longer left as a Niner than Mike Nolan. Bringing in Ted Tollner to "mentor" Hostler isn't going to help the situation for our fearless "leader". At this point Nolan isn't even rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic - he's asking more people to jump ON the ship. Amazing. Nolan's public comments over the past few weeks have been puzzling. Throwing the injured franchise QB under the bus and sticking by clearly useless assistant coaches doesn't make much sense. Maiocco points out that sometimes "coaches can talk themselves out of a job." Nolan has clearly lost control of this team. The only question now is how much it will cost him.

Bringing in a GM to take the wheel is a good start - but for God's sake, Paraag Marathe is not the answer. No offense to him, but this team needs someone with experience and a track record of (even modest) success. Paraag has been with the team through its longest stretch of futility in three decades. Train him, groom him...but don't give him the keys to the car.

In any case, whenever a back-seat owner makes public statements like this, heads will roll. As dull as this team's been on the field, looks like there's more excitement coming in the boardrooms and offices at 4949 Centennial Boulevard than on Bill Walsh Field. And who doesn't get excited about bureaucratic shuffling and corporate doublespeak? That's why I love the NFL.

Strengthen the Core

The "football is won in the trenches" cliche is a cliche for a reason. After 8 straight losses and 2 unimpressive wins, we have MASSIVE problems on both sides of the ball. But

The last three weeks, the Niners have been unable to convert pivotal short-yardage plays. While Hostler's an idiot for running the same damn play in each situation, the execution is also a problem. A decent O-line can line up, tell the D what play is coming, and laugh while pancaking LBs into the turf. Instead the middle of the Niners' O-line - Allen, Heitmann, and Smiley - gets blown up off the ball on every single play. By the time Gore (or Robinson or Norris) has the ball in his hands, the line is already moving backwards into his lap. For a north/south runner like Gore, this is death. The biggest tragedy is that the middle of the O-line was the strength of the team last year, and is now its biggest liability. On pass-protection, these three clowns have blown so many blocking assignments that I've lost count. There is no excuse since they are veterans that have played together for at least two full seasons now. This line needs wholesale changes up front.

A similar issue exists on the D-line. Sopoaga and Franklin are not going to cut it. These guys create no push up the middle and are routinely handled 1-on-1 allowing opposing guards to get to our LBs without any trouble. We have switched back to a hybrid 4-3 since this was such an issue for several weeks, but that's not the long-term solution.

This offseason, this team needs to shore up the middle to being solving its problems. Time for York to open that checkbook again...

Fracture

Team unity is officially gone. When the starting QB and head coach are sniping at each other in the press, count on one thing: this isn't the only strained relationship. Alex Smith says he's "bothered" by the coaching staff repeatedly saying that he's healthy when in fact his should and now his forearm are hurt. Nolan then proceeded to make a veiled threat to Smith's status with the team, saying that everyone is expendable.

There you have it folks. Nolan has lost the team. Part of me wishes we had someone like TO to snap on the sideline and just make an example of some position coach. That lack of fire has been the most troubling aspect of this team's collapse. In any case, mark down 11/14/07 as the beginning of the end of either Alex Smith or Mike Nolan. Place your bets now as to which of these two will be somewhere else in 4 months.

Tim Keown Article Nails It

Former Chronicle writer Tim Keown keeps an eye on the team he used to cover and thinks it's not Alex - it's everything.

Staying the Course

President Bush and Mike Nolan are clearly reading from the same leadership manual. If shit looks broke, just say it isn't. The boat is sinking and the captain will go down with it. Doesn't mean the rest of us can't run for lifeboats while we have time.

Worst. Team. Ever. - Seahawks 24, Disgraces 0

It's official. The 9th game was even worse than the previous eight and won't change this fact: this year's 49ers are one of the worst teams in NFL history according to Football Outsiders' 2007 rankings (through week 9). Needless to say, tonight's crapfest won't improve things when comparing this squad to the 2004 team (-46.5 total DVOA) and 2005 team (-65.9% total DVOA).

I started comparing the 49ers' stats from 2004 and 2005 to what this current team has put up - and then I threw up on my keyboard. In almost every single category, this team is worse. The defense is slightly better and is getting screwed week after week by having to stay on the field for close to 40 minutes a game, as they were tonight. Alex Smith's passer rating is 57.2 through tonight's game. Steve Young absolutely bashed him during the 4th quarter of tonight's game. I've made my position clear. I think the most telling stat is the number of games (five) the 49ers have lost by more than 20 points this season. In 4 of those (they were in the Steelers game through three quarters) this team has not even been competitive. Even against other awful teams (Baltimore and Atlanta) there this sense of foreboding gloom that this team will find a way to lose. The only players from this team worth keeping are Willis, Clements, Gore, Staley (since he cost us a top-5 pick) and Andy Lee. That's it. Everyone else is free to join Jonas Jennings as a forgettable part of a thoroughly forgettable era that seems like it will extend into the next decade.

Many players are quitting (see: Darrell Jackson), Nolan has his own personal struggles to get through, and the season is officially over. The only question now is where do we go from here? Each week feels like bottom - and then this team finds a new circle of hell to take its fans to. Next stop - Satan's throneroom.

R.I.P. - Dick Nolan Passes Away

3 months after the Niners mourned the loss of one former coach, another - Dick Nolan - has passed away.

Mike Nolan has taken a lot of heat recently, and I feel like a real a-hole for piling it on (see: past several posts below this) but moments like this remind us that this is just a game and behind the lightning rods that attract fans' ire, these are still people with lives beyond the few hours we see them on Sunday. Thoughts and prayers go out to the Nolan family and R.I.P. Coach.

No Longer Rollin' With Nolan

Mike Nolan no longer looks like a man in charge and certainly doesn't sound like one. See his responses from today's press conference, especially two-thirds of the way down (starting at Re: Timeout management). What in the hell is he talking about? His rambling answers don't make anything clear and it's obvious there is poor communication between QB, OC, and head coach. The defense also can't get the right personnel on the field. This is a team in complete disarray that cannot even take care of the basics. These are high school football mistakes being made by an NFL team.

Overheard Today

On KNBR's broadcast, toward the end of the game, they came back from commercials a little early and the audience heard Joe Starkey and Gary Plummer discuss who to name 49ers player of the game. Starkey clearly said, "Patrick Willis I guess, but doing that every week is just getting silly." Even he's losing it.

Gary Plummer: LOL. Hostler's playbook is written on toilet paper!!!
Joe Starkey: So's Nolan's resume....

Will It Get Worse?

All signs point to yes.

Oh...and Willis is hurt. God hates us.

Smith is a Bust - Falcons 20, 49ers 16

Well Faithful, it's Sunday. That means it's time for us to dissect another pathetic loss to a mediocre team by the Impostor Niners. While I was focused like a laser on Hostler for the first several games, and recently swiveled my sights to Nolan, I think after today I need a shotgun to effectively spray blame everywhere it is due. There is not a single member of this team that should be proud of the effort today. This is a sad day for 49ers fans everywhere as the progress of the past three years has officially been wiped out. This was the last game that could be circled as "winnable" the rest of the way. There is now a stronger than 50% chance that this team will finish somewhere between 2-14 and 4-12. And the losing isn't going to be enjoyable because as you all know, we don't have the benefit of that pick, which was traded to the Pats, who clearly need it. To quote our boy Samir from Office Space, "This is a...FUCK!"

"I break this piece of shit!"

The bigger issue today is was the peak of the Alex Smith/Mike Nolan Era last season's victory over the equally mediocre Denver Broncos. During the post-game press conference, Smith and Nolan sound like a pair that knows they may not be around much longer.

I have defended Alex Smith against all kinds of abuse and insults. But after today, I'm switching sides in the debate. When he missed a wide open Bryan Gilmore for a SURE touchdown, I couldn't even utter the obligatory expletive. There it was staring me in the face - I have seen that same play and that same shit-eating smile afterward at least a hundred times in the past three years. And I'm sick of it. Tom Brady almost got into a fist-fight with the refs today and Manning looked like someone had butchered his family after a great game where he didn't have much to be ashamed, especially since he was missing Starvin' Marvin Harrison. Alex Smith has never shown me anything remotely like that in terms of competitive fire. How many times has he said "We left a lot of plays/yards/scores on the field today"? Too many and that all falls on him. I don't care if he's 23 and I REALLY don't care that he scored high on the Wonderlic. Standardized testing doesn't mean shit in the real world and especially not in football. John Ryan makes some great points that I didn't agree with two weeks ago in the middle of Dilfergatory, but now I do. Alex Smith saw his future today and it's Joey Harrington. Hopefully we can find a Jon Kitna-type to replace him.

The Onion - "Nolan Benched"

One day this will be true. Alas...

Frustrated by the ineffectiveness of head coach Mike Nolan, the 49ers organization announced Monday that backup coach Tom Gorzynski, a journeyman the team picked up off the coaching waiver wire in August, will make his first NFL start against the Falcons Sunday. "I just need to take advantage of this opportunity to show I can coach at this level," said Gorzynski, who has been making all coaching decisions for the 49ers practice squad this season. "I'm ready to take the reins and make the players make something happen. I just need to go out to the sideline and coach my own game plan. I know it's a huge responsibility, but I'm confident in my scheduling, managing, and delegating." Although Gorzynski feels his effort will be highly scrutinized, he said coaching PATs in preseason, as well as coaching several kneel-down plays late in the fourth quarter of games during the regular season, had given him unbridled confidence.

Friday Link Dump - Week 9

The Niners have a winnable game ahead of them and Niners Nation has the breakdown. I completely agree with the last sentence - no one should consider a 1 point victory a positive in this. The Niners need to demolish the even more rudderless Falcons team to turn this season around. Otherwise prepare to throw up in your mouth when the Pats use our top-5 pick to add a franchise player to their stable.

Bigger news today is Ronnie Lott declaring war on Jonas Jennings this morning. Nolan seems to be emotionally attached to Mr. Glass, so I guess what a Hall of Fame safety thinks doesn't matter to Coach Stubborn-As-A-Mule. I respect confidence, but not foolhardiness.

The question good teams ask themselves each week is "Can we cover the spread?" or "Can we execute our game plan at will?" (see: Pats & Colts). Teams like the Niners on the other hand ask "Do we have Zak Keasey or Hannibal Navies this week?" The rest of the league yawns as Scot McCloughan names the Castrol GTX Irrelevant Sub of the Week each Friday.

Nolan Proposes New Logo

Despite claims that he isn't trying to turn the Niners into the Baltimore Ravens West, Nolan has proposed this logo change. If this means we can bring over Ed Reed, I'll deal with this monstrosity.

P-Willie Era Continues - October Defensive RoM

Even though I was excited when he signed, I'll honestly say I had no clue Willis was going to be The Phenom he has over the first 7 games. He was just announced as October's Defensive Rookie of the Month. If he continues at this pace, he may be making the trip to Hawaii in February. Count it.

Rivalry Week

If you like football and/or freedom, you'll be watching the Colts-Pats smackdown this Sunday afternoon. There is no need to hype a game like this - it speaks for itself. However ESPN.com's top 5 all-time NFL rivalries did get me thinking. Not since the 1992-1995 49ers-Cowboys games has there been a mid-season Super Bowl like this one.

If Dungy is ignoring WJWD, you know Belichick is Satan

Another sign that this game has transcended "just another game" status is the palpable feeling that this is turning into a moral struggle. The 1990s Cowboys and 2007 Patriots' utter disdain for the unwritten rules of sportsmanship has made them the villains in their respective rivalries. Whether its Jimmy Johnson's fat ass yelling this line or Belichick running up the score for no good reason, these teams embody an arrogance that flies in the face of sporting propriety. This isn't the BCS, where margin of victory means something. If the Pats continue down this road, someone will take exception and go head-hunting on Brady, which puts a quick end to the Super Bowl run.

From a fan perspective, I should be rooting for the Pats since every Colts loss improves the 49ers' draft position in April. But fuck it - how can I cheer for this douchebag, even if he is a local kid? Go Colts.

Back to the Drawing Board

And I don't mean for next week. I mean for next season. It's become clear that the problems with this team start at the top. That's right. I'm turning my scope from Hostler to Nolan - and so are many others (Killion, Kawakami, Ostler). Going back to last season, this team has had 4 character-defining games and each time it has fallen absolutely flat on its face. Last year's losses to St. Louis, Arizona, and Green Bay and the debacle against Seattle this year all point to a team that is woefully unprepared and chokes under pressure.

To separate this from the typical "we-suck-fire-the-coach" reasoning, the new stadium initiative becomes a key reason why Nolan should not be with the team next year. He is building a boring team centered around a predictable offense whose primary goal is to avoid mistakes the defense cannot overcome. The top three teams in the NFL right now (New England, Indy, and Dallas) are all coached by defensive-minded coaches who have learned that a potent offense is key to putting your defense in a position to win. The Yorks will teach Nolan this lesson - or will find someone that has already learned it. If the 49ers' ownership is looking to push a stadium initiative - either in Santa Clara or San Francisco - it cannot reasonably expect a city to pony up the cash if the product on the field is averaging just over 10 points per game. People come to the park to watch the ball fly around, not inept ball control offenses. Changes may be minor or they may be wholesale. But a change is needed and Nolan has not indicated he has the stomach to make it. He has done a decent job of assembling some talent, but is too bull-headed and lacks the creativity required to take this team to the next level. I'm getting fed up and the rest of the fan base has to be getting there too. And we are the ones that buy the season tickets, jerseys, overpriced concessions, and watch this team so that it can charge ridiculous amounts for advertising so our anger means something.

Shooting for 7-9 every year is tiresome and this franchise is better than that. We are now in Year 8 of the post-Montana/Young era, all of which can be considered rebuilding years. I can accept rebuilding year. But not a rebuilding decade with no end in sight. I will never lose faith. But I have started to lose hope. This team is stuck in a labyrinth of crappiness. Whether it is the ownership, the GM, the coach, the talent level, the stadium...karma continues to haunt us. The idiotic "faithful" that blindly back the team are no better than a pack of retarded monkeys. There is not something rotten with this team; everything is rotten with this team. I see myself losing some perspective here, but fuck it. I'm pissed and I have goddam good reason to be.

There are still 9 games to be played in 2007. Saving Nolan's job should require going 5-4. This team has regressed to the same point it was at exactly a year ago (2-5). Last year that could be chalked up to learning. That excuse doesn't fly this year. Based on the atrocious play over the last 16 quarters, this season can already be labeled a disappointment. Expectations have gone from "10 wins and playoffs" (admittedly a little high) to "will we ever win again?" And that reminds me of the Erickson Era, which no one will tolerate.

Pitiful - Saints 31, 49ers 10

Disappointment. Disgust. Anger. Depression. I think every 49er fan felt all of these emotions today. After 3 straight games of atrocious play from Dilfer, everyone expected Alex Smith to return and lead us to the promised land, or at least a halfway competent offense. And then reality set in. Smith played valiantly through the injury, a truly gutty effort as he was wincing in pain and left his arm hanging limply at his side unless absolutely needed. Clearly there is some injury update to come on Smith, Gore, Walt Harris, and others I'm sure. This team cannot catch a break, on or off the field. [UPDATE: Raj Mathai says that Smith and Gore are both expected to play next week.]

The most troubling thing about today's game is it's hard to pinpoint what the problem was. The play-calling was typically inconsistent. There was a complete lack of discipline on all sides of the ball. Line play was better but still shoddy, especially when trying to open running lanes for Gore. The lack of a pass rush allowed Brees to pick apart the secondary, which had its first truly terrible game of the season. And what's apparent from his post-game press conference is that Nolan doesn't have any answers.

In any case, the calls for Nolan's head are getting louder. But unless we go winless the rest of the year (unlikely but a real possibility) Nolan will have one more year to fix this franchise. Right now, he needs to keep that team together. Rod Brooks (KNBR) said afterward that the locker room was quiet but unified. They absolutely need to get a win otherwise that is going to fall apart. Here's to hoping we can begin to get healthy against the equally hapless Falcons next week.

(Link dump to come tomorrow morning)

Guess Who's Back?

No not me. Although apologies for the extended absence. Alex Smith took a full practice today, which means he will be the starting quarterback on Sunday.

Hopefully this horrific jaunt through Dilferland has taught everyone that Smith is not the problem with the offense. In fact he takes care of the ball, can escape a pass rush better, and gives us a chance to win, even with the shackles on. So shut the f**k up, get back on the bandwagon, and let's hope we can turn this ship around against the Saints on Sunday.

Meanwhile Jonas Jennings is questionable for the game. Personally, I would rather see Adam Snyder in there anyway.

ESPN Needs to Sign This Cat

Note to Bristol: fire Stuart Scott now and get this guy a gig ASAP. I mean hell, he made Darth Hoodie laugh.



More here (Vince Young), here (Mack Brown), and here (Sidney Crosby).

Thursday Link Dump

Everyone's buzzing about Owen Pochman's new book. Personally I don't even remember who this guy is. But apparently he was even worse than Wide Richey. I must have suppressed the memory.

I'm just depressed that this team is going on its 19th game without 200 yards passing. That is absolutely pathetic. With Alex Smith suddenly doubtful for the game again, don't expect Trent Dilfer to snap it this weekend against the surging Giants, who boast a front 4 that includes Umeniyora and Kiwanuka. Basically we need a Nigerian Nightmare on our D-line, especially after letting Andre Carter go. Their defense is coming after the QB as aggressively as the Eagles teams of a couple years ago, and they're doing it without blitzing. Hopefully the Niner O-line has its schemes sorted out, otherwise we may see Shaun Hill or Arnaz Battle behind center.

Niners Nation has a good Q&A with a Giants fan blogger. Personally I thought this game was a win a few weeks ago. Now I'm just hoping we don't get embarrassed like we usually do after byes in the Nolan Era (Year 1 and Year 2 debacles). With Eli, Plexiglass, and the rushing platoon I think the defense will be tested. I don't see how our offense scores more than the 21 points we're going to need to win. If you have any ideas, feel free to throw them out.

Blast From the Past

Reading Sports Guy's column from yesterday, this quote really stood out:

Barring injuries, it's going to be an enormous, enormous deal if somebody beats New England this season. That's the sign of a truly great team, regardless of the sport. During my sophomore year in college, I remember watching the '89 Niners and thinking, "There's no way in hell they can be beaten. You'd need about 35 things to happen." As it turned out, they outscored their opponents by a 442-253 margin in the regular season, lost two games by a total of five points and rolled through their three playoff opponents by the unfathomable score of 126-26. Yeah, the '92 Cowboys were great; so were the '94 Niners and the '98 Broncos. But the '89 Niners were on a different level, and we haven't seen anything like it since. Now we're seeing it again.

So I looked up that 1989 team's stats. Even though I was only 8 years old, I remember realizing there was something different about that team. There was a swagger to them that no team has had since. Until this Pats team. Any opposition team is just glad to even be within striking distance going into the 4th quarter...then promptly gives way to a tidal wave of talent, the way the Cowboys rolled over on Sunday. The only games that won't be blowouts are their road date with the Colts and home game against the Steelers. Other than that, look out. This is greatness.

Also Nolan and Hostler may want to rethink their run-run-pass-punt game plan based on the 1989 49ers', especially this little eye-opener:

Like many other dominant teams, and contrary to the "accepted" notion of how football games are won, the 49ers excelled in throwing the ball and in pass defense. San Francisco averaged an amazing 9.49 yards per pass attempt, more than two yards better than the league average and more than a yard better than the next best team...Want to be surprised again? This number, the difference in yards per pass attempt, correlates better with winning percentage than any other single statistic – better than turnovers, yards rushing or anything else you can name.

Time to upgrade that receiving corps. Now.

The Date is February 28

Hostler has just been named our new coordinator. Nolan says he was impressed by the fact that Hostler had been putting together phantom game plans for the previous two seasons as if he were coordinator.

Flash forward to week 5 of the 2007 season. The Niner still have phantom game plans that are resulting in a historically bad offense. Everyone is confused. Frank Gore has basically insinuated he doesn't trust Hostler: "It's trust, man. We've got to trust that the boys on the field are going to play hard. We've got to trust that the offensive coordinator is calling the right thing."

The following criteria were used in the OC search after Norville Turner high-tailed it to drag his reputation as a shit head coach through the mud one last time:

1) Putting the run game together
2) Putting the pass game together
3) Implementing the team's protection scheme
4) Game-planning
5) Calling a game
6) Chemistry, and how the new coach would fit into the staff
7) Coaching and communicating with quarterbacks

I'm going to make two concessions here. First, Nolan's back was to the wall since Turner left so late and it would have been murder to install a new system so quickly. Second, Hostler probably does 6 and 7 pretty well. Smith and Dilfer seemed to have nothing but the best things to say about him and the coaching staff has circled the wagons around him after the all-out assault on him. But we haven't seen any indication of #1-#5 thus far.

Hopefully we do starting 10 days from today. VD and Alex Smith should and could, respectively, be back for the game.

Suggestion Box Leak

So Mike Nolan takes a page out of the Michael Scott School of Management and decides to have everyone anonymously write down their thoughts on how to improve the team. Somehow, some of these notes made it into the press' hands. Take a look at what Alex Smith, Frank Gore, Justin Smiley, and Mo Hicks think will help.

Apparently Nolan has decided that one thing that will help is getting Ashley Lelie on the field more. Finally. But to hear that the one player the Ravens were scared of spent the afternoon on the bench is a little upsetting.

Nolan spoke after the game with Ravens defensive coordinator Rex Ryan, who told him that he planned to double-team Lelie when he was on the field. "Sort of gets your attention, doesn't it?" Nolan asked.

Uhhh, yeah. It does sort of get my attention. And I don't get paid to figure things like that out before THE EFFING GAME! When the opposing coaches have a better idea of the talent on our team than our own coaches, that's a problem.

Bye Week Blues

Without a game to look forward to and having slumped into the bye week, the Faithful are left wondering what to think. The season started on a high that has quickly dissipated. The team's offensive funk is now gone on for five weeks. Other than the final drive of the Cards game, Gore's 4th-and-1 touchdown run against the Rams, and the twin strikes Dilfer threw on our scoring drive last week, I challenge anyone to name an offensive highlight from this team's first five games.

Everyone's got some solution (or five) to the problems. But the overarching theme is that there just is not enough talent on the offensive side of the ball.

O-Line: We were lucky to get a good year out of Larry Allen. There's a reason we only had to spend a couple mil a year on this HoF-er at the end of his career. If he doesn't rediscover the fountain of youth he tapped last year, he's done. It was a good ride. Jonas Jennings is an enigma with his VERY private matter. His play has been choppy at best. Heitmann doesn't look like he's recovered from the leg injury he sustained late last season, which isn't a knock on him. It was a big blow and he may have just come back too soon. Smiley - no comment. And Staley has been very solid. Ideally I would like to see some shakeup here. But barring us getting blown out by the Giants, don't hold your breath.

RB: Gore's going to explode if the boys up front don't get their shit together quick. You can see the frustration on his face and in his body language. This is a problem. If he loses hope, pack it in and wait for 2008.

QB: Alex Smith is coming back nicely and may even be able to play against New York. And he was not the (only) problem with this offense. Dilfer is showing why he's been a mediocre QB throughout his career but can show flashes of brilliance. People clamoring for Shaun Hill, STFU. He's a third-stringer on the worst offense in the NFL for a reason - he probably sucks.

WR: Also a big problem area when your coach is constantly even considering bringing back Lambo Bryant. And Nolan's stubbornness in not playing Lelie may be a sign of a fatal flaw with the coach. No combination of this group has worked thus far, so throw that bum out there and see what he can do. Battle is a nice #2B or #3 and I don't even want to waste the time to go down the rest of the list.

TE: We need The Disease back. Now. Thanks for the effort D-Love, but it isn't working out. And Billy Pajamas is apparently fighting off the Injury Boogeyman in his sleep.

D-line: Has held up nicely although it seems to be playing some kind of hybrid 4-3 scheme with Franklin and Sopoaga on the field at the same time. BY started hot but has tailed off the past couple games. Marques Douglas is playing lights out in a contract year. I'm shocked. I want to see what Ray McDonald can do since there's a lot of buzz about him.

LB: Willis is a beast. Period. If he keeps this up, he'll be unanimous Defensive RoY. TBC is starting to show signs of life, especially this past Sunday. Losing Lawson was devastating, but Navies is doing a decent job in his place. Derek Smith needs to get off the field.

CB: Clements was worth every damn penny and the haters can go to hell. Walt Harris is playing at 85% of his Pro Bowl effort of last year - which is nice. Shawntae Spencer is a very solid #3 for the nickel package. Marcus Hudson and Tarrell Brown are doing well in the nickel also.

S: Mark Roman has stepped up big. As good a free safety as we've had since Merton's Funky Chicken Dance was the toast of the Bay Area. Michael Lewis is fine. Not good, not bad. Just fine.

ST: Andy Lee should book a ticket to Hawaii for the way he's been kicking. It's fair to say that if he was punting even half as well as he is, we could be staring at 0-5. And that's no joke. The twin mohawks of Jeff Ulbrich and Keith Lewis are doing a fantastic job on kick coverage. Brian Jennings somehow ends up making tackles even though he's the snapper. Maurice Hicks needs to stop jumping into tacklers on kickoffs. It's going to end badly for him. And I'm patiently waiting for the Beer Man to pop a punt return or two for TDs. You can see that he's going to do it. Just a matter of when.

Coaching: Manusky/Singletary/Defensive coaches have been great keeping us in games where their units are on the field for 35+ minutes. Hostler is a fucking joke. There are 8 year olds that play Madden who are less predictable than him. He will not be calling plays for this team next year. And if he is, someone needs to question Nolan's leadership. He's done a good job to this point. But we're starting to get into the "show me the money" period of his tenure. Enough Rollin' with Nolan - time for him to roll with us.

We need to get the young O-line guys (Baas and Snyder) into the lineup soon to see if they're serviceable or if there's a need to get more talent there. I'm confident it's the former based on how well Snyder held up against Baltimore and the fact that he'll be at RT instead of LT (Staley's home for the next decade). The team sorely needs a #1 wideout and backup QB, which will also come through the draft or free agency. Finally, and most critically, a new OC. Hostler's going to take too long to develop and frankly he looks like a stunning idiot so I'm pretty sure he never will. I nominate Wade Wilson based on the job Tony Romo and Co. are doing in Dallas

Well Said

Perspective is easier to have on Mondays than it is on Sundays. 49ersnews.com provides a heap of it tonight.

All Quiet on the Nolan Front

Apparently there's nothing wrong with the offense and Jim Hostler will continue to call plays.

Nolan is starting to bear a strong resemblance to a certain other fearless leader we have all gotten accustomed to. Hell, even his approval ratings are following a similar trajectory. The stubborn denial that things need to change is alarming. There are three critical flaws with this offense, even one of which would make for a long season: line play, talent problems at WR, and play-calling. Yesterday 1 and 2 held up fine. Option 3 showed flashes on one drive. Then it just fell apart, especially on the last play before Nedney's field goal attempt. If Matt Barrows knows what's coming, it's a good guess the entire defense does also.

Two statements from yesterday's game should terrify anyone who is still Faithful.

1) "This [49ers] defense should look to score some points." - uhhh they are supposed to stop the other team from scoring points. You know the offense is DOA when the defense is being called on to create and score off turnovers.

2) Ed Reed told CBS' announcers that yesterday's game was "going to be easy." When this website scares people more than your offense, you're in for a long season.

Bottom line, the bye week could not have come at a better time. Unfortunately, our Bullhead-in-Chief may need something stronger than three straight losses to jolt his system. The last two games would have been winnable by even a mediocre offense. The defense is doing its part but they're going to fall apart in the back half of the season if they're on the field for 35+ minutes a game. Where is the help going to come from? Apparently, our guess is as good as Nolan's. And that worries me...

Confusion Reigns

Quick recap of today's game: run run run run run rGILMOREBATTLETD run run run run run missed FG lose

I'm just puzzled. The game was boring as hell but for those two passes Dilfer hit. And then for some reason we went back into a shell. The offensive shitshow continues but we saw some sparks today.

Was anyone else silently enraged at the end of the first half. That was a pitiful display that should be blamed on everyone involved. Nolan, Warhop, Hostler, Dilfer, the line, and the wideouts. When the announcers start talking about the defense needing to score points, that's a problem. When a running into the kicker is ok because your special teams have a better shot at scoring than the O, that's a problem.

I'll have more later but right now, I think the heat is starting to build on Nolan. This is year 3 and the offense looks as bad as year 1.

TheSportsGuru's Week 5 Picks

Houston over Miami: 28-14
I really am liking what I’m seeing from Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson or not (he’s out for this week), Shaub will get it done.

Jacksonville over Kansas City: 21-13
Kansas City finally showed a pulse last week. Rather they showed an accelerated heart-beat. But they played an over-rated team. The Jags D will throw down once again but I feel another big game coming from Bowe today.

New England TORCHING Cleveland: 38-14
Doesn’t that score ring a bell? It’s probably because New England has beaten every team they have played this year by similar numbers.

New Orleans over Carolina: 24-17
I just want to see New Orleans get off the schnide. Reggie will have a big day and Brees will bounce back…hopefully.

New York Giants over New York Jets: 31-28
Eli has impressed me. Pennington has impressed me. But if the Giants line plays like they did last week, Giants will squeak by.

Pittsburgh over Seattle: 27-21
Pittsburgh lost to Arizona last week and really let me down. If they do the same, and lose to another NFC West team, I might resort to cow tipping to subdue my anger.

Arizona over St. Louis: 24-14
St. Louis is pitiful. Arizona is coming off a HUGE win over Pittsburgh (ARRRRRRRRGGHHHH!!!) last week. They will most definitely win this game.

Washington over Detroit: 24-23
It’s gonna be a close one. But I like Washington so I’m gonna pick them.

Tennessee over Atlanta: 20-17
Vince Young will surely remind the native of Atlanta what it was like to have Vick run the show. Don’t be surprised if you see a few tears shed as some of the hardcore fans recount the recent past.

Indianapolis over Tampa Bay: 24-21
Just so Indy can stay undefeated until they play the Pats. They’ll lose that game. I promise you.

San Diego over Denver: 31-21
Denver just looks a little pathetic in my book. And LT should run a muck on Denver’s shady D.

San Francisco over Baltimore: 14-13
It’s going to be a D vs. D show down this week. And the Niners really, really need this win.

Green Bay over Chicago: 28-14
Favre is rocking his cannon arm and the up-start D has impressed. Chicago has no semblance of an Offense.

Dallas over Buffalo: 27-13
Dallas and Tony Romo will remain undefeated. Period.

Point of notice: All undefeated teams will come out of week 5 remaining undefeated.

Week 5 Picks & Preview

The game tomorrow will be a 9-3 type affair. The over/under is 35 and that's probably double what it'll actually be. The Ravens are banged up but so are the Niners. Anyway, on to the picks for this week.

BrownMagic Says: Texans, Chiefs, Giants, Panthers, Pats, Lions, Titans, Cards, Steelers, Colts, Ravens, Broncos, Packers, Cowboys

Last Week: 8-6 // Season 40-22

Friday Link Dump - Week 5

Alex Smith is out of his sling, Patrick Willis is on pace for 204 (!!) tackles for the season, Jonas Jennings is going dark indefinitely like the International Man of Mystery, Tim Kawakami is trying to convince everyone that the sky is falling to sell a couple papers, Mike Nolan misses Baltimore, and the line is being attacked like the Fellowship at Hornburg.

This is what the O-line will be facing on Sunday afternoon

Boston Sucks

You know what: Fuck Boston. I said it. The town that used to be home of the lovable losers is now just a virulently racist cultural backwater. The teams I hate most right now by league are the BoSox (Yankees without the aura), the Patriots (Darth Hoodie can burn in hell), and the Celtics (because they cock-blocked Warrior fans from seeing Boom Dizzle and KG on the floor together). The people there sound like someone cut their noses off and they say stupid shit like "wicked pissah". WTF does that even mean you 'tards?!

And then there's The Sports Guy. I love Sports Guy. Best sports columnist of our generation. Single-handedly keeps people checking ESPN.com 8-10 times a day to see if he's posted anything new. But can the guy stop mentioning Boston in every goddamn article? We get it. There's a rich sports history there. But I don't give a shit where you were when Bobby Orr farted in Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Or where you were when Carlton Fisk did anything. Or where you were when Larry Bird...actually Larry Bird was kinda bad-ass so those stories are ok.

But SG's quarter-year recap of the NFL is absolutely ludicrous. He has the Niners at #30. 30?!?! Like I said yesterday, I don't care since no one knows how good any team outside the top 3 is anyways .But I mean we're bad but Jesus H. Christ...that's a little harsh. He's got Atlanta at #22, basically so he can tout his Ewing Theory pick of the year. Not gonna happen. But this part sticks in my craw:

In other news, you know the Patriots own San Fran's 2008 first-round pick, right? After losing their own first-rounder with CameraGate, how funny would it be if the Niners' pick ended up being first overall? Don't count this out. They're terrible.

Anyways, the whole issue of the Niners trading next year's first-rounder to move back into the first round to grab Joe Staley is working out ok since he's the best player on our line right now. But I didn't think it was a good idea at the time and I still don't. We're back in this year's first round with the Colts' pick. But here's the tale of the tape:

49ers: Joe Staley, 2008 first-rounder in the high 20s (unless Peyton dies)
Colts: Tony Ugoh (via 49ers) who is now starting, no 2008 first-rounder
Pats: Brandon Meriwether, stripped of their first rounder (#32 or #30) for Videogate, the 49ers 2008 first-rounder that could be anywhere from #5 to #20

Obviously you don't make draft day trades expecting to suck the following year (esp. if we end up with Limas Sweed anyway). Also I think it's a little premature to put a fork in the Niners considering how poor the back half of their schedule is. But all the same, if the Pats win AND have a top-10 pick in next year's draft, I'm going to find Sports Guy (even if he leaves the country) just to kick him in the face.

More Line Issues

Jonas Jennings will not play this weekend as he has to take care of a "private matter". The presence of team chaplain Earl Smith probably means a death in the family. Football's just a game and these guys have lives that go on outside of it so let's hope Jennings is doing ok and we'll see him back after the bye. Adam Snyder will take his place at left tackle. Here's the scouting report on him from Scouts Inc:

Snyder has a good combination of size and quickness. He has solid lower- and upper-body bulk. He played guard and tackle in college. He has quick feet for his size and pretty good initial burst. He has long arms, extends well and has improved in pass protection. He uses his hands well, works to force pass rushers wide and doesn't get out of position often. Snyder plays hard, but he isn't much of an athlete and he doesn't stand out in any area. He is a straight-line short-area blocker. He lacks ideal range, lateral mobility and balance. He doesn't show much pop off pass sets and has trouble recovering when necessary. He has little upside.

This leaves the Niners without their starting QB, best receiving option, and blindside lineman. Looks like Gore's going to get 40+ touches this week. Let's hope the line can do as good a job at stonewalling as their coach George Warhop. What a charming bastard. He probably wears a monocle and top hat to practices to match his gentlemanly demeanor.

Power Ranking Clusterf*** - Week 4

ESPN.com - 19
SI.com - 23
Fox Sports - 27 (!!)
Sportsline - 17

I officially don't care about these anymore but will keep putting them up. I think what's clear is that other than the Colts, Pats, and Cowboys, there are 26 mediocre teams and the God-awful Rams, Bills, and Dolphins leading the race for the Andre Woodson Jr. Sweepstakes. Also, the fact that DeSean Jackson isn't on the Big Board (Insider protected) means it's official - Mel Kiper's hair product of choice has seeped through his scalp and contaminated his nervous system.

Hating on Hostler - Part 2

We knew there was something wrong with this offense a couple weeks ago. But the muttering to return to the Walsh Offense has become full-throated howling, especially with Alex Smith out for anywhere from 2 to 52 weeks.

Anyone without glaucoma could see that the O-line is having some problems right now. The best way to get around this? Return to the short passing game, which apparently was something Dilfer did well on Sunday.

3-step drops: 4 of 5 for 31 yards (92.5 passer rating).
5-step drops: 4 of 11 for 60 yards with two sacks (55.1 rating).
7-step drops: 4 of 15 for 37 yards with two interceptions and two sacks (0.0 rating).
Shotgun: 0 of 1 with one sack. (Also, Smith was injured on a play from the shotgun formation - [Ed: That's just sad.]).

I think this may ignore the fact that the Justin Smiley's...uhhh...the Seahawks vaunted defense had us in 2nd- or 3rd- and long all day, which requires longer drops to get longer routes, et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseam, QED. In any case, we need to shrink the field against the Ravens as Trent goes for some revenge. Hopefully it turns out a little better than D-Jack's revenge game.

Our goal line is that first down marker. This O-line specializes in mashing the opposition on the run. Get them moving forward and get them their confidence back. The line's specialty last year was the drive that featured Gore left, Gore right, Gore up the middle...not Alex Smith drops back and hits a 40 yard pass play. Also this group can't hold blocks for more than a couple seconds on pass plays. Use slants, flares, screens...anything under 10 yards. We HAVE to prove we can move the ball in little chunks. Throw something over the top once in a while just to show you're thinking about it...but I'd prefer the ball goes out of bounds since it's more likely the other team will come down with it in the field of play.

Hostler may not have all the weapons and may be hamstrung by the line's recent play. But he needs to adapt on the fly. That's what he's getting paid for. You could train a monkey to call in the same plays regardless of the situation. Hostler needs to prove that he's at least human before we keep bagging on him. Though it's looking increasingly likely that we'll get Norv Turner back for next season, if Hostler doesn't pick it up in the next few weeks, I say we replace him with this guy. He seems a bit more courageous.

It Looks Good Again

ESPN's Ed Werder is a retard and should be summarily executed for not doing his homework. The difference between tendons and ligaments is a season of Trent Dilfer versus a season we could begin to turn around in a couple weeks. Matt Barrows let's the Faithful know they can take a breath as the "second opinion" is really not a second opinion but just standard procedure.

At this point, until I see Alex Smith back on the field, I'm not believing anything out of the press other than the local beat writers.

It Doesn't Look Good Again

Jesus help us, when will this end?!?!? Alex Smith may still have season ending surgery after a scheduled appointment to seek a second opinion from Dr. James Andrews, who is apparently the God of Joints.

Joints

No not that kind. This kind:

Anyways, asking for resolution of this would be too much so let's just hope this drags out into 2009.

Bryan Gilmore Returns

From the "It's Not Randy Moss...But It's Something" Department:
Bryan Gilmore's back and Taylor Jacobs is gone. This completes Jacobs' stunning fall from clear #3 to off the roster. I'm not sure this is the move that's going to fix the [quote] passing game [unquote], but Gilmore was a guy that both Smith and Dilfer liked playing with and provides some semblance of a vertical threat. Also look for more playing time for Ashley Lelie and Jason Hill when they decide to trade their tube tops and pumps for a jersey and pants.

From the "Response to SportsGuru's Seething Rage" Department:
Great points. But at what stage DO we hit the panic button? I would like to see some progress along the line at some point. If I have to watch Gore dry hump Smiley or Heitmann's back looking for an inch to run through even one more time, I'm going to break something. And, dude...lay off "Timmy".

Keyword: "Perspective"

Week 4 Rumblings
“Why aren’t Larry Allen and Jonas Jennings pancaking the hell out of everyone?”
“We should start ‘Blame’ Kwame Harris.”
“BENCH F*%$#^G SMILEY!!!!”
“START DILFER, SMITH SUCKS…oh wait…uhhh.”

You definitely got the last one right my man, right on the button. It honestly disappoints me to say I am affiliated with some of the “faithful” who literally “talk out of their asses” when speaking about ‘their’ beloved Niners, or football for that matter. My advice is to listen to what I’m about to say very, very closely.

I’ve read through all the “Monday Morning Quarterback” articles since we were embarrassingly man-handled by the Seachickens (sorry BrownMagic) this past Sunday and the overwhelming consensus among the “faithful” is that the Niners’ season is in shambles and that (gasp!) individuals on the Offensive Line are the biggest guilty party.

Do I agree that the 49ers Offense is horribly out of sorts? Absolutely. Do I think our Offensive Line is largely to blame? Absolutely. So, why am I not ripping on the 49ers as vehemently as the rest of you guys? Because, and here’s where you really need to start paying close attention, I know what it means to maintain perspective. Yes, I said it. I have it…the rest of you lack it. So what do you need to gain some perspective? Some proof positive evidence that what’s broken can be fixed.

This was "Timmy", my stuffed bear after sleeping with it for, lets say close to fifteen years (don't pass judgement). Its safe to say that he was broken.

This was "Timmy" after a little mending. It's safe to say that he was fixed.

The Bush Administration royally screwed up its "War on Terror". An utter mistake.

But Bush's Administration can most certainly right its ship...er...maybe not?

My point here is that we all understand that the Niners' offense is struggling, is not in sync, is in shambles - whatever you want to call it. But our grumblings are not going to help an already shattered, pressing O-line. Its not about replacing individual parts of the line. Remember that these same five (save Staley) were an utter FORCE last year. But they need to regain the cohesiveness that made them one of the best O-lines in league.

Whether or not we enter our Bye week 2-3 or 3-2 isn't a worry of mine (okay, fine it is). I'm simply looking forward to seeing the perfectly tuned, well oiled machine that is the 49ers Offensive Line chug into New York and lay down the law. Patience and perspective my 'Ninerites', patience and perspective.

Meve Nolanucci

Nolan is displaying the Mooch-like stubbornness, as our line problems are apparently not personnel issues.

No lineup changes are planned along the offensive line, coach Mike Nolan said in his Monday news conference.

For the love of GOD, did he not see the same thing we did? Larry Allen was sucking wind all day and everyone to the left of Joe Staley is playing as poorly as any line in NFL history.

The O-line won't look as cute when Ray Lewis & Co. come exploding through

This is the second game in a row where 3 guys have missed blocking someone coming up the middle and the best pass rusher on the other team has been turned loose to murder the QB. Also Justin Smiley is currently the leader for the Kwame Harris Award, currently given to the offensive lineman that best displays the ability to absolutely destroy momentum with dumbfuck penalties at the most inopportune time.

Justin Smiley learns basic blocking principles from 7 year old girls

Bottom line - we're fucked again this weekend when Ray Lewis' murderous ass comes to town.

Shoulderpalooza

Some nice info on separated shoulders that everyone should have for cocktail party conversation.

Marder said it’s entirely possible that Smith could resume throwing in two weeks and be ready for action in four weeks. He said a full recovery is usually a four- to six-week process. Four weeks would put Smith on the field for the Oct. 28 home game against New Orleans. Six weeks means he’d be back for the Nov. 12 game against, gulp, Seattle.

Quick - how many self-appointed experts on shoulder injuries do you think will come out of the woodwork over the next couple weeks saying Smith is soft for not coming back sooner?

It Looks Good

UPDATE - OK. Looks like it's going to be somewhere in between - more like 4-6 weeks out. No final word until the swelling goes down. But at least we haven't lost Alex for the season. If we can go .500 over that stretch and work out the line kinks to get Gore going, maybe he'll be returning to a different team. We'll see. In the words of Samuel L. Jackson, hold on to your butts.

MRI results are in and things are not as bad as feared - Grade 3 separation but surgery not needed. Best-case Alex is back after the bye for the 10/21 game against the Giants. In the meantime, Nolan and Scot McLoughan may add another QB to the roster while Smith is out.

Bottom line, something needs to be done about this line and pronto.

It Doesn't Look Good

There are mutterings that Alex's shoulder separation looks like a second- or third-degree. The former means out a few weeks; the latter means we'll see him in 2008. What a disaster. Next time he's back there he should be behind a line that can block and receivers that can catch. Unbelievable.

The Morning After - Week 4

Dumping links here the way the O-line took a dump on the field yesterday. Needless to say, I'm still pissed as any fan should be. That display only gets more pathetic the more I think about it.

It's going to be a looong year

SFGate recap, game grades (F+ is generous), photos, and game notes.

Mercury recap. Also a bit on Julian Peterson having a field day upon his 2nd homecoming. Other game notes here.

PressDem recap and Maiocco breaks down the line's several breakdowns.

Ray Ratto thinks this offense has regressed - and so does anyone with a functional brain.

Mark Purdy takes a look at the offensive problems. Hint: the players suck.

Nancy Gay's take that Seattle is still the king of the hill in the NFC West.

Alex Smith Out Next Week

UPDATE 2 - (9:21 PT) - No update on the injury and probably won't be until tomorrow morning, but MattyB has a good look at the breakdown on the line that led to the Piledrive Heard Round the Bay.

UPDATE (7:50 PT) - ESPN.com is reporting a separated shoulder. Does anyone know how bad that would be - are we talking 2-3 weeks or the season? I know no one knows the answer until an MRI is done tomorrow but baseless conjecture welcome. I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight anyway.

Looks like Alex Smith haters have gotten their wish as we're probably rollin' with Dilfer next week.

Coach Mike Nolan said he would not know how long Smith is out until the MRI exams and other medical reports are completed Monday morning. But when asked if Smith will start next week against Baltimore, Nolan conceded: "Probably not."

Hopefully this team can come out of the bye week with The Disease and Alex back...and the line playing at least mediocre. Otherwise it doesn't matter who we have healthy.

There Are No Words - Seahawks 23, Impostors 3

I'm not going to bother with much analysis on this one. I'm just going to vent. If you had the misfortune to watch the "game" this afternoon, I share your pain. As I said to my brother halfway through, you know when you're hoping for another 70-yard punt from Dandy Andy on first down, things are dire. The only upside was I only threw 3 hours of my life into a black hole while most games run 3h30m. So at least we had that going for us. Which is good.

Alex's look says it all. And this was 2 minutes after kickoff...

To get the few positives out of the way, let's just say the defense played up to its 19th-in-the-NFL status. The secondary got torched on a couple big plays that essentially put the game out of reach. There was little to no pressure on Hasselbeck all day but Shaun Alexander was bottled up for the most part at around 3 yards per carry. Clements got a pick. Willis had 10 tackles to continue his run to RoY. Andy Lee was a monster again, averaging 54 yards per punt. He's our MVP at the quarter-pole of this season.

The list of negatives is too long to go through. But everyone that is involved with the offensive side of this team should be called to an all-hands game of Russian roulette tonight...and they'll be better for it next week. At least they'd play with some fucking fire in their belly. Dilfer proved that anyone who thinks Alex Smith is the problem has an IQ lower than this piece of work. Frank Gore fumbled twice, lost one, and that's not even a story. The receivers suck. The play calling sucks. The coordinator sucks.

But the line. Oh, the offensive fucking line. Everything in football starts and ends with the trenches. Seven step drops and stretching the field are great. But when a 308-pound ogre piledrives your $49.5 million dollar centerpiece into the ground, it doesn't matter what the scheme is or what gadget plays you have in the bag. Every single player along the front got abused today. Kwame was lucky he was on the sideline stretching and didn't have to sully his reputation with the fiasco on display this afternoon.

The most solid part of the line is the rookie right tackle, Joe Staley. Everyone else - shit. Jonas Jennings and Larry Allen were pancaking people all last season. They both now look like they should lay off the pancakes at training table. Center Eric Heitmann calls the blocking scheme and then blows it himself all within a half-second. Stunning what a Stanford education provides these days. And Justin Smiley - well he was benched in the middle of the game today and single-handedly killed two drives. And this fucknut had the audacity to turn down a $5M+ per year contract this offseason. Throwing a box of Trojan condoms out there in his place would offer more protection.

Ultimately all blame for this goes to Mike Nolan. This is the biggest game the team has had in several years. Last year's victories against the Hawks were considered flukes by outside analysts. This was supposed to be the Niners coming out party to show themselves as contenders for the NFC West crown. Instead they regressed big time today. And that falls to the head coach. If he wants the glory for the wins, he also has to clean up when they shit the bed. If there aren't benchings on the O-line and some dressing down of Hostler, expect the heat to keep building on Nolan all season.

The good news is we're still only a game back in the division. The bad news is, it's not clear what we can do to win another one this season. Back to the chalkboard fellas. It's not going to be an easy fix.

Week 4 Preview

I'm going to cheat this week and just throw up a link to Matt Maiocco's preview. This game is mammoth. Hopefully the team steps up to the challenge.

TheSportsGuru Says: Week 4 Predictions

Houston vs. Atlanta: Surprisingly, Atlanta has pretty much stuck their nose in every game this season. But 67 yards of defensive penalties in one series is unforgivable. If they don’t win this one (Schaub is without his two wing-men), they aren’t winning a game all season. Houston wins it in a close one, 24-21.

New York Jets vs. Buffalo: I really don’t give a damn about either team. And with J.P. out, Buffalo is in big trouble. I have the J-E-T-S, Jets. 21-17

Baltimore vs. Cleveland: Big JA-MAMA Lewis makes his return to Baltimore. Field day for him? I think not. Ray “The Murderer” (both literally and figuratively) Lewis has had his defense ridiculed all week. He and his torn tricep will wreak havoc all day. J-Lew won’t hit the century mark either. Baltimore 20-10.

St. Louis vs. Dallas: Jerry Jones thinks extending Romo’s contract early in the season would be detrimental to both the team and Romo himself. Jerry, wait until this off-season when Romo digs deep, really deep, into your wallet. He is the real deal and he will, once again, light up St. Louis’s D. Cowboys 35-15.

Chicago vs. Detroit: This is a good one. We have a great defense and a great offensive mind in offensive-coordinator Mike Martz. Lets stick with the old mantra, “Defense wins Championships”. Chicago by three, 24-21.

Oakland vs. Miami: Oakland will win this one just because Joey “Talks More Than He Plays” Porter guaranteed a win on Sunday. 17-14, Oakland.

Green Bay vs. Minnesota: I touched on this point on my blog last week. I really, really want to know where Favre is storing his time machine. He looks so young and sexy and… does anyone else have a man crush on Favre right now? No really, he’s revitalized and Green Bay is a top 10 team this year. No question. Green Bay, 21-13.

Tampa Bay vs. Carolina: This is a toss up. That division is really a toss up, between these two. Because Delhomme is questionable for the game, I say Tampa 17-16.

Seattle vs. San Francisco: Who the hell do you think I’m going to pick? The Niners are due for an absolute outburst, even without V-D. Plus, D-Jackson cut his hair and he’ll actually be able to see the ball as it comes his way. In a close one, 27-24 Gold-diggers.

Pittsburgh vs. Arizona: Um…Duhh. Arizona thinks a QB carousel will do them well. I think Pittsburgh’s Defense will be licking their chops. In a rout, 38-14 Pitt.

Denver vs. Indianapolis: I’m going to agree with the line, Indy giving 10. Should be a pretty one-sided. 24-13.

Kansas City vs. San Diego: I don’t know why, but I have a really weird feeling about this game. San Diego can’t run the ball, Philip River’s still makes big mistakes. And Donny Edwards plays MLB for KC, not SD. In an upset, Kansas City 24-21.

Philadelphia vs. New York: I find it utterly amusing that everyone is back on the Eagles bandwagon. They put up 50+ in their last game but it was against DETROIT!!! That’s supposed to happen. And the Eagles won’t be wearing those intimidating baby blue and yellow jerseys. (Brrrr…my spine is tingling just thinking about them).

New England vs. Cincinnati: So, Cincy probably has the softest, most porous defense in the NFL. New England rocks Tom Brady and Randy Moss. New England BIG, 56-28.

ThatsBrownMagic Picks: Texans, Jets, Ravens, Cowboys, Lions, Raiders, Packers, Bucs, NINERS, Steelers, Colts, Chargers, Giants, Pats

Rudebwoy Picks: Texans, Jets, Ravens, Cowboys, Bears, Dolphins, Packers, Bucs, NINERS, Steelers, Colts, Chargers, Giants, Pats

LAST WEEK: TBM: 12-4, RB: 10-6, SG: 7-9
SEASON: TBM: 32-16, RB: 10-6, SG: 7-9