Alex Smith Out Next Week

UPDATE 2 - (9:21 PT) - No update on the injury and probably won't be until tomorrow morning, but MattyB has a good look at the breakdown on the line that led to the Piledrive Heard Round the Bay.

UPDATE (7:50 PT) - ESPN.com is reporting a separated shoulder. Does anyone know how bad that would be - are we talking 2-3 weeks or the season? I know no one knows the answer until an MRI is done tomorrow but baseless conjecture welcome. I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight anyway.

Looks like Alex Smith haters have gotten their wish as we're probably rollin' with Dilfer next week.

Coach Mike Nolan said he would not know how long Smith is out until the MRI exams and other medical reports are completed Monday morning. But when asked if Smith will start next week against Baltimore, Nolan conceded: "Probably not."

Hopefully this team can come out of the bye week with The Disease and Alex back...and the line playing at least mediocre. Otherwise it doesn't matter who we have healthy.

There Are No Words - Seahawks 23, Impostors 3

I'm not going to bother with much analysis on this one. I'm just going to vent. If you had the misfortune to watch the "game" this afternoon, I share your pain. As I said to my brother halfway through, you know when you're hoping for another 70-yard punt from Dandy Andy on first down, things are dire. The only upside was I only threw 3 hours of my life into a black hole while most games run 3h30m. So at least we had that going for us. Which is good.

Alex's look says it all. And this was 2 minutes after kickoff...

To get the few positives out of the way, let's just say the defense played up to its 19th-in-the-NFL status. The secondary got torched on a couple big plays that essentially put the game out of reach. There was little to no pressure on Hasselbeck all day but Shaun Alexander was bottled up for the most part at around 3 yards per carry. Clements got a pick. Willis had 10 tackles to continue his run to RoY. Andy Lee was a monster again, averaging 54 yards per punt. He's our MVP at the quarter-pole of this season.

The list of negatives is too long to go through. But everyone that is involved with the offensive side of this team should be called to an all-hands game of Russian roulette tonight...and they'll be better for it next week. At least they'd play with some fucking fire in their belly. Dilfer proved that anyone who thinks Alex Smith is the problem has an IQ lower than this piece of work. Frank Gore fumbled twice, lost one, and that's not even a story. The receivers suck. The play calling sucks. The coordinator sucks.

But the line. Oh, the offensive fucking line. Everything in football starts and ends with the trenches. Seven step drops and stretching the field are great. But when a 308-pound ogre piledrives your $49.5 million dollar centerpiece into the ground, it doesn't matter what the scheme is or what gadget plays you have in the bag. Every single player along the front got abused today. Kwame was lucky he was on the sideline stretching and didn't have to sully his reputation with the fiasco on display this afternoon.

The most solid part of the line is the rookie right tackle, Joe Staley. Everyone else - shit. Jonas Jennings and Larry Allen were pancaking people all last season. They both now look like they should lay off the pancakes at training table. Center Eric Heitmann calls the blocking scheme and then blows it himself all within a half-second. Stunning what a Stanford education provides these days. And Justin Smiley - well he was benched in the middle of the game today and single-handedly killed two drives. And this fucknut had the audacity to turn down a $5M+ per year contract this offseason. Throwing a box of Trojan condoms out there in his place would offer more protection.

Ultimately all blame for this goes to Mike Nolan. This is the biggest game the team has had in several years. Last year's victories against the Hawks were considered flukes by outside analysts. This was supposed to be the Niners coming out party to show themselves as contenders for the NFC West crown. Instead they regressed big time today. And that falls to the head coach. If he wants the glory for the wins, he also has to clean up when they shit the bed. If there aren't benchings on the O-line and some dressing down of Hostler, expect the heat to keep building on Nolan all season.

The good news is we're still only a game back in the division. The bad news is, it's not clear what we can do to win another one this season. Back to the chalkboard fellas. It's not going to be an easy fix.

Week 4 Preview

I'm going to cheat this week and just throw up a link to Matt Maiocco's preview. This game is mammoth. Hopefully the team steps up to the challenge.

TheSportsGuru Says: Week 4 Predictions

Houston vs. Atlanta: Surprisingly, Atlanta has pretty much stuck their nose in every game this season. But 67 yards of defensive penalties in one series is unforgivable. If they don’t win this one (Schaub is without his two wing-men), they aren’t winning a game all season. Houston wins it in a close one, 24-21.

New York Jets vs. Buffalo: I really don’t give a damn about either team. And with J.P. out, Buffalo is in big trouble. I have the J-E-T-S, Jets. 21-17

Baltimore vs. Cleveland: Big JA-MAMA Lewis makes his return to Baltimore. Field day for him? I think not. Ray “The Murderer” (both literally and figuratively) Lewis has had his defense ridiculed all week. He and his torn tricep will wreak havoc all day. J-Lew won’t hit the century mark either. Baltimore 20-10.

St. Louis vs. Dallas: Jerry Jones thinks extending Romo’s contract early in the season would be detrimental to both the team and Romo himself. Jerry, wait until this off-season when Romo digs deep, really deep, into your wallet. He is the real deal and he will, once again, light up St. Louis’s D. Cowboys 35-15.

Chicago vs. Detroit: This is a good one. We have a great defense and a great offensive mind in offensive-coordinator Mike Martz. Lets stick with the old mantra, “Defense wins Championships”. Chicago by three, 24-21.

Oakland vs. Miami: Oakland will win this one just because Joey “Talks More Than He Plays” Porter guaranteed a win on Sunday. 17-14, Oakland.

Green Bay vs. Minnesota: I touched on this point on my blog last week. I really, really want to know where Favre is storing his time machine. He looks so young and sexy and… does anyone else have a man crush on Favre right now? No really, he’s revitalized and Green Bay is a top 10 team this year. No question. Green Bay, 21-13.

Tampa Bay vs. Carolina: This is a toss up. That division is really a toss up, between these two. Because Delhomme is questionable for the game, I say Tampa 17-16.

Seattle vs. San Francisco: Who the hell do you think I’m going to pick? The Niners are due for an absolute outburst, even without V-D. Plus, D-Jackson cut his hair and he’ll actually be able to see the ball as it comes his way. In a close one, 27-24 Gold-diggers.

Pittsburgh vs. Arizona: Um…Duhh. Arizona thinks a QB carousel will do them well. I think Pittsburgh’s Defense will be licking their chops. In a rout, 38-14 Pitt.

Denver vs. Indianapolis: I’m going to agree with the line, Indy giving 10. Should be a pretty one-sided. 24-13.

Kansas City vs. San Diego: I don’t know why, but I have a really weird feeling about this game. San Diego can’t run the ball, Philip River’s still makes big mistakes. And Donny Edwards plays MLB for KC, not SD. In an upset, Kansas City 24-21.

Philadelphia vs. New York: I find it utterly amusing that everyone is back on the Eagles bandwagon. They put up 50+ in their last game but it was against DETROIT!!! That’s supposed to happen. And the Eagles won’t be wearing those intimidating baby blue and yellow jerseys. (Brrrr…my spine is tingling just thinking about them).

New England vs. Cincinnati: So, Cincy probably has the softest, most porous defense in the NFL. New England rocks Tom Brady and Randy Moss. New England BIG, 56-28.

ThatsBrownMagic Picks: Texans, Jets, Ravens, Cowboys, Lions, Raiders, Packers, Bucs, NINERS, Steelers, Colts, Chargers, Giants, Pats

Rudebwoy Picks: Texans, Jets, Ravens, Cowboys, Bears, Dolphins, Packers, Bucs, NINERS, Steelers, Colts, Chargers, Giants, Pats

LAST WEEK: TBM: 12-4, RB: 10-6, SG: 7-9
SEASON: TBM: 32-16, RB: 10-6, SG: 7-9

Peeking Ahead - NFC West Race

As we enter the buildup to Week 4's big game, I was thinking about the NFC West race and how it's shaping up.

St. Louis - It's pretty clear the Lambs are broken and their schedule doesn't help them. They play the Cowboys, Ravens, Seachickens, Saints, Niners, Bengals and Cards on the road. Even if we're generous and say that's only another 5 losses, the Packers and/or Steelers will beat them at home. That puts them at no better than 7-9. But more likely to go 5-11.
VERDICT: OUT OF THE RACE. USE THEM IN THE ROGAN JOSH.

Arizona - This team's an enigma with the benefit of a last-place schedule. Road dates left include Lambs, Redskins, Bucs, Bengals, Seachickens, and Saints. That's probably 4 more losses. Their hardest home games left are Pittsburgh (Sunday) and Carolina (10/14). If they get lucky and split those, that puts them at 9-7. Very much a threat. Of course these clowns could implode and run off 10 straight losses and finish with a top 5 pick.
VERDICT: STILL IN IT, BUT COULD FADE FAST. ROOT FOR THE STEELERS THIS SUNDAY.

That brings us to the Niners and 'Chickens, who have to be considered the front-runners at this point. Eliminating their games against each other, each team faces the the following teams at home (Saints, Rams, Ravens) and the following on the road (Panthers, Falcons, Browns). So let's take a look at the unique games on each schedule.

Seachickens - At home against the Bears and Cardinals. On the road against the Eagles, Lambs, and Steelers. That looks like a 3-2 situation to me. Couple that with some combo of 4 wins from the list above and they're also looking at 5 losses.

Niners - At home against the Vikings, Bengals, and Bucs. On the road against the Giants and Cardinals. Although our home dates are harder, we get the same 4 wins from the common list and go 3-2 with the remainder. This also leaves us with 5 losses.

Which brings me to the ultimate point - the division is likely to come down to the two game head-to-head clash that starts Sunday at 1:15 PT. If one of the teams sweeps it, they could be looking at 11-5 and a #3 seed in the playoffs. As if there wasn't enough pressure around this game, it is an absolute MUST-WIN if Nolan & Co are serious about playing game 17 and on. Time for everyone from the towel boy to Alex Smith to step it up a notch.

Give Some Love to D-Love

Delanie Walker - if you don't know the name, get used to it because it should get called a bunch on Sunday. The guy may not have The Disease's pedigree but he sure has the same swagger:

"I'm always open when I run my routes," Walker stated with Davis-esque bravado.
Walker said he is the best receiver out of the 49ers' tight-end trio. Would Davis take exception to that?
"He'll probably agree," Walker said. "He knows I run better routes."

As a former wideout, Walker should also have better hands than Davis. Hopefully we get to see them in action against the 'Chickens.

Also a nice note at the bottom about Jonas Jennings being ready to practice tomorrow. That should keep Kwame merely dreaming of getting on the field.

Matchup Mania - Week 4

Scouts Inc. has their matchup breakdown up. Here are the nuggets of knowledge they've thrown to us:
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When the Seahawks have the ball
Rushing: Seattle has been extremely inconsistent running the football...Alexander looks like a far cry from the player he was a few years ago...The biggest reason this team is struggling is that it is no longer getting it done up front...Seattle is not a physical run offense right now, so look for it to stick with its patented sweep-type runs trying to get Alexander out on the edges. San Francisco will present some problems this week with its 3-4 defense. Look for San Francisco to pressure the edges of the Seattle offense this week in an effort to keep Alexander bottled up between the tackles. Alexander is not physical enough to run inside and he has not been breaking tackles or running over defenders. The goal for the 49ers this week will be to funnel everything back inside to waiting ILB Patrick Willis.

Passing: The Seahawks were able to open up the offense this past week against a bad Cincinnati defense this past week and the result was more big pass plays. Look for San Francisco to do a better job of mixing up its coverages and it will also play much more physical on the outside. Look for the corners to get up tight and play more press coverage this week. Branch, Burleson and Bobby Engram are not physical and do not like a lot of contact.

When the 49ers have the ball
Rushing: If the 49ers are going to get their run game going this week, they at least have to present the fact that they can stretch the field vertically...They have to take a few shots deep early to loosen up the Seattle defense...Look for San Francisco to counter the inside run blitz by trying to run the ball outside this week...The 49ers have not been able to get Gore to daylight so they may try to use more sweeps and tosses this week to get Gore out in space where his speed and athletic ability can give issues to a Seattle defense that struggled against the run this year.

Passing: Seattle will do a lot more shifting this week in an effort to confuse Smith, who has really struggled through the first three games. Look for Seattle to bring pressure from the outside in an effort to keep him in the pocket and not let him roll out...One of the other issues for the 49ers is the lack of speed at the WR position. Look for the Seattle corners to squat on underneath routes and force the 49ers to try to beat them over the top.

Special Teams

The San Francisco cover units were awful in Pittsburgh last week and Seattle has notoriously struggled on special teams in recent seasons, so this will be an interesting matchup this week. San Francisco must win this battle if it is going to win this game.

-----------------------------------------
This game is going to be about the Niners using their speed to overwhelm Seattle on the edges. Hopefully the game plan Nolan & Co. are putting together has us opening things up on both sides of the ball.

D-Jack Is A D-Umbass

When your hair does that annoying thing where is gets in your eyes, it's probably time to get a haircut. Unfortunately our (supposed) blockbuster pickup and #1 wideout, D-Jack, doesn't understand this.

"I couldn't see the ball. My helmet sat too high on my head," he said, citing his Afro as the culprit. His hair is now trimmed.

I think that crack you heard is Alex Smith breaking his hand against the locker room wall. YOUR HELMET WAS TOO HIGH?! What an ass.

The homeless billy goat look isn't doing it for D-Whack

And this other gem would have made me spit up my coffee, if I drank coffee.

"I'm a very easy-going guy, very laid-back. Even in my style of play, I like to observe everything and not fly by missing a lot. High-energy guys get a lot of glory. Guys like me that make everything look easy get misconstrued."

Make dropping passes look easy? Make averaging 3.7 catches for 39 yards per game look easy? What exactly is he doing so well that "high-energy" guys like TO, Ocho Cinco, Steve Smith, and Randy Moss are not? Ohhhhhh...right. Getting in the GOD DAMNED END ZONE! Guys that take this much pride in being easy-going are generally just not very good at what they do. Since he's facing the team that dumped him this past off-season, hopefully D-Jack gets mad and makes some plays this weekend. With The Disease riding the bench, we're going to need all the help we can get.

God Help Us. Kwame (Maybe) Back

From Matty Barrows:

Jonas Jennings suffered a leg injury -- later described as a leg strain -- during practice and did not return. Jennings sat on a cart for several minutes but was never driven into the lockerroom. He walked gingerly back to the practice field and watched the remainder of the session from the sideline. He will be re-evaluated Thursday. If Jennings' injury is serious, Adam Snyder likely would replace him in the starting lineup. Kwame Harris also has been getting repetitions at left tackle.

Jennings hurt? Not shocked. But Kwame Harris?! Kwame EFFING Harris?! The guy can't handle right tackle. How the hell is he going to watch Smith's blind side. Fuck me.

Jumping the Gun

SI.com's FanNation is always the first weekly prediction to come out, as they provide fantasy projections for junkies. Apparently, we're doomed: Survey says!...24-20, Seachickens. Whoever's predicting this is so sure of it, he won't even put his name on the site. Probably so that when he's proven right people don't bother him like the latter-day Nostradamus that he is. Smart move.

"The Pats lose to the Bills....wait. What? This f*cking thing's broken."

Seriously, Seattle?

Seahawks fans aren't worried that their team is a Bengals implosion away from being 1-2, that the offense is sputtering, and the defense far from dominant. They're more concerned with Shaun Alexander smiling too much. This article from the Seattle Times makes him sound like Dopey Dwarf. Which he sort of is.

Meanwhile, SFGate's Nancy Gay wants to rehash the "Is Our Alexes Learning?" story that's only been written 437 times in the past two years. The answer is "Yes and back the f*ck off."

The Diss Appointments

I saw this and laughed. Then I saw this and cried.

The media has turned on Leinart remarkably fast given the high expectations around him. He's played so poorly, Kurt Warner's career has been resurrected for a 7th time. And in case he wasn't clear, he wants to thank Jesus for it, because clearly it took some divine intervention.

The media dissing of Alex Smith continues as everyone outside of the 415/408/650/510 is already calling him a bust. I guess the raging debate about which of these two guys is better is moot since they both suck right now. I still say if you give Smith WRs like Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald, he'll put it together. But we're stuck with TweedleLelie and TaylorDum.

Power Ranking B.S. - Week 3

" They'll love you one second, then hate you the next. Oh ain't it crazy baby, yeah."
-Cher Chez La Ghost (Ghostface Killah)

So we squeak out a one-point win against the Lambs on the road and we're a top-10 team. We hang tough for three quarters and then give way to an elite team on the road and we're scum? What gives? Fox Sports and SI.com rank the Niners in the bottom half of the league, while ESPN has the team at #15. I'm starting to think trained seals put these things together. Hell, Len Pasquarelli does bears striking resemblance to an elephant seal.

Separated at birth?

Frankly, who gives a damn anymore. (I know, I know...I do.) Clearly everyone's confused as hell about which teams are actually any good. Parity in the NFL has been great in that every team can dream of success before the season starts. But with the Colts and Pats standing atop the NFL, do they really? Excitement at the cost of mediocrity doesn't make for great games. Titanic clashes like the old Cowboys-49ers games have been replaced by the Pats-Colts, but even those games aren't quite the same.

Anyways, despite the punitive rankings drop, these guys make good points. The offense needs to snap out of its 31st-ranked funk and the D needs to shore up its front before we expect to be taken seriously.

WE GOT THE BEER MAN!

The Niners snagged Michael "Beer Man" Lewis to return kicks and cut Brandon Williams to make room for him on the roster. Lewis' nickname comes from his stint as a beer delivery truck driver before exploding into the NFL at the age of 29. He was a Pro Bowler in 2002 and a solid return guy for the Saints even after that. I don't think he's a big speed upgrade from Williams or Mo Hicks, especially since he blew out an MCL in 2005. But he is a veteran with surer hands (hopefully) and someone that special teams coach, Al Everest, worked with in New Orleans. And it should lead to some interesting confusion on the sidelines since we now have two Michael Lewises. In fact, the team has safety Michael Lewis' picture up on WR Michael Lewis' page as I write this.


Anyways, the new Michael Lewis has always been one of the feel-good stories of the NFL, so it's gonna be cool to see him in a Niner uni. Hopefully he can also get us a freebie special teams touchdown or two like in this clip:

Tuesday Link Dump

Slow day with everyone digesting VD's injury. Seattle seems to be pretty pleased about it. Although all it takes is a P-Dub jaw-jacker on Shaun Alexander's bum hand to even up the casualty list.

Matty Barrows is still upset about the refs on Sunday. Good analysis but it's time to move on.

TBC was not happy with the effort against the Steelers.

Quick preview of the Seattle game from 49ers.com.

Goddamit - VD injury update

This fucking sucks: The Disease has an MCL strain or partial tear, depending on who you read. Based on the way his knee buckled on the play yesterday, this could have been a lot worse. Like what already shell-shocked New Orleans fans are facing with the reported loss of Deuce for the season.

The timing of Davis' injury absolutely sucks since we have a huge division game this weekend and a potentially winnable game against the Ravens the following weekend. If you missed the game yesterday or are blind, it's obvious that he's our biggest receiving threat and key to opening up the defense so that FG can get untracked. The half-assed receiver corps (excluding our boy Battle) is going to have to step it up the next couple weeks and play at least two-thirds-assed for us to have a chance.

At the very least let's hope we are reinfected with VD after the bye...although a minor miracle that allows him to play against the Ravens would be awesome.

P.S. A big "FUCK YOU" to Troy Polamalu for hitting low as he always does. I hope someone tackles him by the hair like LJ did last season.

Coaching Meltdown Alert

Oklahoma State coach completely melts down defending his backup QB to the press.



Personally I think it's kind of awesome he did this, as did other applauding press members. And here's a medley of other hilarious coaching freak-outs. Just because.

The Morning After - Week 3

[Updates to come as stories are released.]

AP official recap of the game.
NFL.com's Gamecenter
49ers.com quarter summaries

Gee I wonder why he never sets his feet....

Highlights from the 49ers post-game press conference. Sounds like the receivers are in for an ass-whipping this week.

The Merc's recap provides some clarification on the ruling of the phantom incompletion. Also, Mike Tomlin is an idiot - his team picked off the pass as it never hit the ground. Both teams should have been upset with that call.

SFGate's recap here. Clearly things fell apart after that pivotal pass play to VD.

It was all downhill after this. Hope that The Disease is ok.

As was apparent to everyone yesterday, our problems on defense started up front. Hopefully Trent is right and the nose tackles settle in soon.

The big injury update to watch for is news on VD's sprained right knee but apparently we dodged a bullet on Gore's hand.

Hostler, Nolan, and Alex Smith took a lot of flak this week so it should be acknowledge that they generally did their parts yesterday. But there's still something wrong (Purdy). Is the real problem the receivers? Get ready for a week-long debate on that.

The Undefeated Dream Goes Down - Steelers 37, 49ers 16

I haven't felt this confused after a game in a long time. The final score makes it look like we got blown out. But the box score looks like it came from a game that should have come down to the wire. All in all, the Niners repped themselves pretty well on the road against an elite AFC team. I'm pissed we lost the game, but I think the team can hold its head high. Some are complaining that the refs pulled a screw-job on us, mainly around the absolutely AWFUL call on the pass to VD over the middle. While that was a game-changing play, you have to be able to overcome things like that on the road.

Anyway, let's move on to some of the key takeaways from today:
1) This game was lost in the trenches: Gore was bottled up (39 yards) and Parker had an absolute field day (133 yards). Roethlisberger managed to make some great drive-saving throws after defenders didn't bring him down. On the other side, Alex Smith was getting pressure all day and never looked comfortable enough to set his feet. Frustration is clearly building on that group, as Jennings and Allen got into it on the sideline. Hopefully they can clear up any issues and take that frustration out on the Seachickens next week.

2) Alex Smith played well amidst all the pressure and complex schemes the Steelers threw at him. The pick at the end looked like it was a miscommunication and not just a boneheaded throw. As an aside, everyone needs to stop bagging on Smith. He clearly has the talent to make the throws - he just has third-tier talent on the other end. Battle is the only guy that looks to turn the play upfield after making a catch. The team hasn't had a true #1 since TO left and absolutely has to get a stud wideout this next offseason.

3) Good to see The Disease get early touches. Need to keep that going. Hopefully his leg is ok after that nasty hit. Maiocco said a sprained knee in his liveblog of the game. Cross your fingers that it's just that.

4) Clements continues to look like he's worth every dime. Blowing up running plays, blanketing Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes, and looking more and more like the emotional leader of that D.

Gameballs
Clements - see above.
Andy Lee/ Joe Nedney - Very solid duo. Lee averaged 57 yards per kick (!!) while Nedney continues to be Ol' Reliable no matter the distance or situation.

Goat(s) of the Game
OL - Unforgivably bad run blocking for the third week in a row. Gore needs an inch and they can't even get that.
DL - Some pressure applied on Roethlisberger but missed several chances to bring him down. Also got absolutely railed on the ground.

Ultimately, we're still 2-1 and atop the NFC West. The Ravens managed to survive a Kurt Warner-led rally (Leinart was benched) and the Lambs continue to look absolutely awful. The Seachickens are also not looking very impressive through 3 quarters against the Bengals. Regardless, next week's game against Seattle is an absolute monster. If we can sweep our division on the first pass, it would go a long ways toward getting in the driver's seat for the rest of the season. Today was a nice measuring stick but next week is a must-win.

Week 3 Picks

NinersFaithful pickoff starts in earnest this week with Rudebwoy and SportsGuru joining in the fun.

ThatsBrownMagic (picks in bold):
* TheLeinarts @ Ravens - AFC's 4th best team vs. NFC West's 4th best team.
* Bolts @ TheFrozenTundras - Chargers need this one after last week's smackdown in Foxboro.
* Colts @ Texans - If Andre Johnson was playing, this could have gone the other way. Still might.
* PurplePeopleNibblers @ KC Why-were-they-on-HBOs - Arrowhead is the hardest road game in the NFL.
* Bills @ Cheating Bastards - Cheaters do win - and may run the table.
* Tuna Net 'Phins @ Unreliable UCAV-EDIs - AFC East disappointments faceoff and Jets have just a little more than Miami.
* Lions @ Iggles - McNabb needs to step up after running his mouth on race relations this week.
* Lambs @ Yuckaneers - Any of you that don't wish we still had Garcia are lying.
* Jagulars @ The Denver Donkeys - Mile High advantage.
* Browns @ The Black Hole - Raiders D won't give up 51.
* Bangles @ Seachickens - Hasselbeck needs to redeem himself after giving away last week's game.
* Panthers @ ATLiens - Falcons are awful and Leftwich probably isn't the solution.
* Jints @ Native Americans - Washington will hang with Dallas atop the NFC East all season.
* Niners @ Squealers - Until they prove otherwise, I'll stick with our valiant heroes.

Game of the Week:
Evil Empire @ Monsters of the Midway - This one's for early season supremacy in the NFC.

Survival Monday:
Titans @ Saints - This is the Saints last chance to avoid reverting to the Aints...which they will.

Rudebwoy's picks:
Steelers (?!), Jets, Eagles, Pats, Rams, Ravens, Giants, Colts, Chargers, Chiefs, Raiders, Broncos, Bengals, Panthers, Bears, and Saints.

SportsGuru picks:
Niners, Ravens, Packers, Bucs, Lions, Jets, Pats, Vikings, Colts, Bengals, Browns, Broncos, Redskins, Panthers, Bears, and Saints.

TBM: Last week: 10-6 // Season: 20-12
RB/SG: Update to come next week

Welcome the SportsGuru

Please welcome new writer, SportsGuru, to the fold. Here's some initial knowledge from him and look for additional guest commentary from this extremely knowledgeable youngster as the season progresses.
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So the Niners are sitting pretty at 2-0. But what a dubious 2-0 it is. Had it not been for a last-ditch drive against Arizona (which included an improvised scamper by Alex Smith) and the six inches Wilkins missed the field goal by against St. Louis we, the NinersFaithful, could be staring at an 0-2 start. But this is not to say I am a pessimist, nor a hater. I am solely a realist, and my anguish stems from one person, and one person alone: Jim Hostler.

Yes, the stats are explanation enough: the last ranked offense in the league, a QB without a touchdown pass and a 5.3 yds/attempt, and a BEAST of a TE with only four receptions on the year. And yet, this is all Hostler has to say about the struggling offense: “The bottom line for us is the run game isn’t going right now and that’s where the inconsistency is.”

SERIOUSLY?! You are supposed to be the Offensive Coordinator of an NFL team and you can’t even identify the problem your own team has. Frank “The Inconvenient Truth” Gore, had a tremendous offensive season last year. In fact, he was (and still is) the offense and, yet, you honestly believe teams aren’t going to stack the box seven/eight/nine men strong?

"Now Coach Hostler I don't want to be an alarmist here. But the "other" inconvenient truth is we have a potentially catastrophic situation on our hands: you and Coach Nolan may completely screw over this offense. And how could you look the children and grandchildren of The Faithful in the eye after that?"

The clichéd notion of “you must pound the rock to pass it” doesn’t translate at all to this years 49ers. Rather we need to open up our offense, pass on first-down a little bit, and give Gore some breathing room. Our defense and special-teams have won two games for us and my worry is that, until Hostler is able to identify his issues on offense, we won't be seeing an offensive win for a long time.

Prediction for this week: 17-14, 49ers (of course…)

Week 3 Preview

Now all the mid-week pontificating and hand-wringing can wind down as it's time to turn to Sunday's showdown in the Steel City. I took a look at the Steelers game from last week (courtesy of DirecTV's Short Cuts - God I love Sunday Ticket) and here are BrownMagic's Keys to Week 3:

Things That Go Without Saying
* Win the turnover battle
* 3rd downs are the game - Get off the field when we're on D and keep the drive going on O
* Don’t settle for field goals on the road - TDs or bust, especially in the Red Zone
*Punch them in the mouth early and take the crowd out of the game

Defensive To-Dos
* Get pressure on (and finish off) Roethlisberger. Our problem has been not finishing off QBs (Derek Smith's swing-and-miss on Bulger comes to mind). Big Ben is the best in the league at keeping a play alive with someone draped on his back. We’ll be able to pressure him, but can we get him a body bag? YAHHHH! (Enjoy this classic Karate Kid clip in its entirety or start at 3:45)

If you don't get goosebumps watching this, you don't have a pulse.

* Force "Fast Willie" To the edge – If we get penetration up front and force Fast Willie to use his 4.23 40-speed horizontally, our LBs should be fast enough to get him on the edges.
* More of the same from the secondary – Clements, Harris, & Co. will have its hands going head-to-head with rival firm Ward, Holmes, & Co. Big Ben likes to spread the ball (8 diff’t receivers in the first half last week) but will throw some deep balls up for grabs like he did against the Bills.
* Bend but don't break - Yards between the 20s don't matter and the Steelers are having a ton of trouble in the red zone. The Bills held them to field goals on their first four trips inside the 20, which allowed Buffalo to stay in the game until the middle of the 4th quarter. Our D will need to do the same.

Offensive To-Dos
* The Steeler front, led by DT Casey Hampton, is stout and will bottle up FG if they are going 8-on-5 all day. Hostler needs to pass early to get Pittsburgh out of its base D. Bills rookie RB Marshawn Lynch had decent success so there’s no reason Gore shouldn’t be able to do the same if the defense is loosened up.
* Alex’s internal clock– Needs to be like Peyton in his new ad. Need to be sure to have safety valves set up for him. They will bring blitzing pressure like they did against Losman to rattle him into mistakes.

This remind anyone else of the Shining?

* Step up in the pocket – The Steeler pass rush came from the edges against Losman. Smith needs to step up and into his throws, and also be ready to take off if he sees daylight.
* Neutralize Polamalu – Moran Norris can blow him up as long as he find him. Polamalu has been a complete non-factor through two games. Let’s hope it goes to three.

Special Teams
* Their kick coverage sucks. Should get at least one good return out of our unit.
* Field position battle is winnable if Lee punts like last week.
* Note to the equipment managers - The Bills kept losing their footing and sliding around. Need to make sure our cleats are right.

Keep It Together

Everyone seems to be reacting to Manny's injury the same way Kit Ramsey did to everything.



I agree that Lawson's injury is horrible, especially for a guy that was just coming into his own. But I'm not sure the situation's as gloomy as everyone is making it out to be. Clearly there will be a drop-off but I can think of at least a dozen other starters that would have been much more devastating to lose for the season. You can probably name the dozen guys I'm thinking of yourself so I'm not going to - also I'm superstitious as hell. But the reaction yesterday was "That sucks!", not "Oh God. We're completely f**ked!"

The fact is LB is probably our deepest position. Whoever comes in to replace Manny is going to be tested, but should also be up to the challenge. Either that or we DHL one of Patrick Willis' hairs to Korea to get him cloned.

Friday Link Dump

Yesterday's devastating news of Lawson's injury seems to be the theme with the Nattering Nabobs today.

* SFGate takes a look at the potential replacements. The Merc's carbon copy article here.

* Ray Ratto thinks Lawson's injury is going to force Nolan to open up the offense. Not sure I follow/agree with his logic, but I guess by any means necessary

* Ann Killion gives Alex Smith some back-handed compliments and preaches patience with the whelp.

* Maiocco asks the question everyone else is: why the hell is Taylor Jacobs playing ahead of Ashley Lelie? And here's his obligatory Lawson story.

* Barrows (SacBee) has his thoughts here. Interesting nugget toward the bottom about BY being the new NFL sack leader. Three against the Lambs and four for the season.

10 Things I Can't Believe!!!

Here are the top 10 things I can't believe about our 49ers or even about the NFL in general.

#10 - I can't believe that people are complaining about a 49ers team that is 2-0 right now. Have we forgotten where this franchise was only 2 years ago? Do we not realize that the last time this team was 2-0 Steve Young and Jerry Rice (not Alex Smith and Arnaz Battle) were on the field?

#9 - I can't believe we are 2-0 when our offense is ranked last in the league. Having said we shouldn't complain teams can always improve. How did we let our offense come to this? We have a #1 draft pick in Alex Smith, #6 in VD, and a top 3 RB in the NFL. And that takes me to . . .

#8 - I can't believe Jimbo Hostler is still employed with the Niners. I know Mike Nolan is pansy on the sideline but if you're calling the plays you have to step up. Let Alex Smith throw the dame ball, in fact let him throw the ball to VD.

#7 - I can't believe the Niners don't make an effort to get VD the ball. Whether on reverses, dump offs, long balls or even hand offs. GET HIM THE BALL. Was I the only one who noticed it took 5 Lambs to take him down? Clearly he is our top receiving weapon. GET HIM THE BALL.

#6 - I can't believe that this 49er team looks an awful lot like a Niners team of the past. That's right ladies and gents . . . the 1981 49ers. That team started off winning games but certainly not convincingly. Soon the defense started picking it up and the offense did what they needed to do and like that they won the Super Bowl only two years after winning a total of 2 games!

#5 - I can't believe we still rock that ugly maroon jersey. For the love of everything right in the world PLEASE bring back that cherry red. We can't lose with those uniforms baby.

#4 - I can't believe that our 3-4 defense has seemed to hold up over the first 2 games of the season. If you remember, last year the Niners gave it a shot but fell apart realizing that they don't have the right personnel.

#3 - I can't believe we haven't tried putting Patrick "The Beast" Willis on the field during the offensive series. That guy strikes me as someone who would just ravage opposing teams no matter what position he plays.

#2 - I can't believe that people are giving so much love to the Niners defense. True they've really turned the page from last year but they're still allowed Bulger to throw for nearly 400 yards! Luckily we have some skilled players (Nate Clements) who can make a fantastic play (striping Torry Holt) to save the game.

#1 - I can't believe that week 3 is a battle of undefeated teams in the Niners and Steelers. Who would have thought it? Well we definitely did here at the NINERSFAITHFUL!

Clements Wins Defensive Player of the Week

A bit of good news on an otherwise crappy day. Also looks like Willis is going to make it two-for-two on Rookie of the Week voting.

Week 3 picks and preview tomorrow.

Who's In For Manny?

John Clayton is reporting that Hannibal Navies is the likely replacement for Manny Lawson in the 3-4.

Personally, I think it's time to reintroduce Brandon Moore to the starting lineup. Parys Haralson is another option. Or Nolan could platoon the three, which is the most likely scenario. Scouting reports for all three (link is Insider protected) are below. What do you think?

Hannibal Navies
* Navies is a backup player at linebacker who contributes on special teams
* He has decent athletic ability, a little undersized, but is adequate in his play and has good initial quickness
* Navies does a fair job of covering tight ends, but is better suited as a weak side linebacker
* Navies can avoid players and wade through trash
* Navies' lack of size hinders his overall effectiveness
* He does not have good lower-body strength, he plays too high and he does not use his hands effectively to shed blocker
* His injury status is a big issue, as he is often banged and knicked causing him to miss time and is prone to become a liability at this stage of his career

Brandon Moore
* Moore has adequate size to play the linebacker position and he has the versatility to play inside as well as outside and he appears to be a good fit for the outside linebacker spot in the three four defense
* He shows that he has good range and he has decent body control and change of direction skills
* He has great upper body strength and he has good hand placement
* He shows good acceleration to the ball and he goes to the ball aggressively and he is a good strong tackler who clubs up with his arms
* He lacks pass rush technique and when he puts his hand down to come off the edge he lacks the stature to pass rush effectively versus an offensive tackle
* He does not have good play recognition and he lacks the natural instincts for the position
* He needs to become more consistent in his play recognition

Parys Haralson
* Haralson is quick and agile. He shows a good first step and anticipation skills
* He has the acceleration and body control to turn the corner as an edge rusher
* He shows good closing burst and can be an explosive tackler
* He flashes some upper-body power and has enough quickness and strength in his arms and hands to maintain separation from blockers
* He takes solid pursuit angles and is a wrap-up tackler in space
* But Haralson is a converted college end who lacks ideal experience and speed at linebacker
* He lacks an array of pass-rush moves and isn't experienced in coverage

Lawson Out For the Year

Manny Lawson tore his ACL in practice and is done for the year. Backups include Parys Haralson, Hannibal Navies and Brandon Moore. This injury is a damn shame since the defensive unit was meshing together so well. Maybe Coach Singletary can suit up.

Someone's Simmering

The AP gives some good insight into the offensive malaise at 4949 Centennial Boulevard. VD sounds like he'll stay cool through another game or two as long as we keep winning. But interestingly, it's Alex Smith who's beginning to show some signs of frustration:

"It would be easy to complain about (only) 17 pass attempts," Smith said of the St. Louis game. "It would be easy for anyone to complain about touches."

So easy to complain, in fact, that he may or may not be doing it depending on how you choose to read that quote, in or out of context.

Let's face it, Alex is a smart guy and has pride. He knows what everyone is saying about him and it must be eating him alive. Unfortunately, the handcuffs are on and who knows if (or when) Nolan will let them off. But hey - a little QB-Head Coach strife worked out just fine last time.

Hump Day Link Dump

Apparently Halo 3 fever is sweeping the nation and the Niners are no exception. Alex Smith spent his day off throwing an early release party at his pad. Scott Ostler doesn't sound terribly happy to have been sent on the assignment while the Merc's Dennis Georgatos just stuck to the facts. And good to hear that Brandon Lloyd is still running his mouth. At least we don't have to hear it.

Mike Sando thinks keeping the offense simple is a good thing for young teams on the rise, especially the Niners.

ESPN's look at the Overreaction Nation also gives us a little perspective on how the first two weeks do not a season make.

Rock The Vote - Week 2

Patrick Willis is up for Rookie of the Week again with 8 tackles against the Lambs. Vote here and help him knock off the other pretenders. All Hail Willis!

Big Nate Dogg is up for Defensive Player of the Week. Show him some love here.

And finally, it's good to see FG get some national recognition for his game last week. He's going to have a tough time winning this against Jamal Lewis, who was involved in the Shootout in Ohio. But go vote for FG here anyway. The Internets may not have made it out to the Buckeye State.

Power Ranki...Wait. We're What?!

UPDATE - SI has the Niners at #13. I agree with that more than 9 or 10.

This can't be right. ESPN has us at #10, and both Fox and CBS at #9. I'll drop SI in here when it comes out.

Like I said last week, the NFC is so lackluster that I challenge anyone to name even 3 teams in the conference that are hands-down better than the Niners. The Cowboys are currently the only one - and we all know that Romo will struggle with his consistency. The NFC South sucks from top to bottom, the East is equally mediocre, and the North has shockingly become the new power division.

While I'm not blown away by the Niners for various reasons, they just need to keep collecting wins to stay in the hunt. Opening up this offense would go a long way to achieving that goal.

Hating On Hostler

2-0 and first in the West is sinking in. But so is the feeling that there is something rotten with this offense.

The run-run-pass-punt combo was seen far too often yesterday and yielded 8 first downs. This is clearly not even your older brother's Niner offense. As the team has dedicated this season to the memory of the coach that invented the West Coast Offense (WCO), it is mind-boggling that we are one of the few teams that does not run it. In fact, Norv Turner left us with what is the polar opposite of the Walsh WCO: the Air Coryell Offense (ACO). This posting from an apparently literate Raider fan gives a good summary of the system, as Turner used it in Oakland when he was head coach. The fact that the Raiders used this system is reason enough for the Niners to ditch it. The only time that team has had any success in the past two decades was when they were using the WCO under Gruden.

The ACS is predicated on power running and a vertical passing game. There is nothing inherently wrong with that strategy, especially when you have a road-grading O-line and beast of a back like FG. BUT the second half of that strategy is completely missing from the personnel and play calls used in the past two weeks. NFL coaches are a conservative bunch by nature. Defensive minded coaches tend to be even more conservative than average. And then we have Commander Nolan who jumped through hoops to wear a suit on the sideline. To quote OJ's new lawyer, "This does not bode well."

This train is slightly less f**ked than the Niner offense

Clearly a large part of the issue is with the leadership's inability or unwillingness to open up the vertical aspect of the offense. As a result, teams are loading up 8 or 9 guys in the box to blast through the line and stuff Gore for a 1-2 yard gain. Hostler then decides to get cute and run on 3rd and 8 to set up the punt. This logic absolutely baffles me. The predictability of this offense is going to smother it. The one gutsy play call yesterday resulted in a 43 yard TD run on 4th and 1. I credit that one to Mama Gore's ghost smacking defenders' hands away from her baby.

Joking aside, these are the things this offense needs to achieve Nolan's dream of becoming mediocre:
1) Get Hostler off the sideline and up into the booth. The guy is too wrapped up in the emotion of the game as evidenced by him almost giving himself a stroke while yelling at David Baas in the 2nd quarter. The one game he spent up in the booth during the preseason was the one where the play-calling was most effective.

2) Become more unpredictable on 1st down. Pass. Naked bootleg. Trick plays since we have at least 2, sometimes 3, QBs on the field at any given time. Hostler needs to pretend it's his first day in prison - hit someone with a chair, throw his feces at the wall, and declare himself Imperator of Catalonia...figuratively speaking of course.

3) Get Lelie or Hill in the game and throw a ball 5o yards downfield. At least let the opposing D know they have to respect that. The vertical half of the ACS is being completely ignored and letting the other D tighten up around the tackle box.

4) Use The Disease. You draft the guy 6th overall and then get him one touch a game. Everyone has seen what he can do. If we are serious about turning into Turner's Chargers, we need to give VD the chance to turn into Antonio Gates before we start declaring him a head case or a bust.

5) Throw on 3rd and long. At least make a gentleman's effort to get the first down.

Clearly most of my suggestions have to do with passing more than 17 times a game. That alone will open up running room for FG and truly allow us to become the ball controlling offense that Nolan wants. Because when you're picking up 8 first downs a game, you are neither controlling the ball nor the game. Hopefully we learn that before the Steelers teach us a nasty lesson on national TV. But for some reason, I doubt we will....

Nolan's Press Conference

Courtesy of KPIX. The link may die after a day or two so apologies if it doesn't work for you.

Week 2 - Post-Game Link Dump

NEWS
*NFL.com Game Center - Highlight clip, AP recap, box score, and more.
*More objective quarter summaries from the Ministry of Propaganda (i.e. team site)
*Mercury recap and report card
*SFGate recap and report card

ANALYSIS
*Maiocco's live blog from the game
*Ray Ratto and Mark Purdy both pooh-pooh the 2-0 start.
*Scary news from Maiocco's post-game report: looks like the offensive conservatism comes from the top. This is the big knock on Nolan and I'll have some thoughts on this later today.
*Peter King has us in The Fine Fifteen. I think #12 may be a little high, but I'll take it.
*The Lambs were left speechless by the Niner defense. Torry Holt shutting up is music to my ears.
*The Disease continues to morph into TO and is apparently always open. Although I will take his side on this, and not just because he's on one of my fantasy teams. But his one reception yesterday was a dandy. He and Alex need to develop together if this offense is going to do anything.
*Tim Kawakami sees storm clouds gathering as the Niners brace for Hurricane Steeler next week. Unless we open up the playbook we are going to get absolutely embarrassed in Pittsburgh.

(Use BugMeNot to avoid registering at any of the above sites)

I Can't Take This - 49ers 17, Rams 16

All that matters is we won a division game on the road. But this team is going to kill me. Both games have come down to the wire. The "yes-no-yes-no" roller coaster is too much. Grab a drink and/or a smoke to steady your nerves and look for a link dump later this evening.

Let's move on to some notes from today's squeaker:
**Awesome to see 3 sacks on the first drive and 6 for the game. Bulger was getting smacked around with the pressure coming from everywhere - corner blitzes, up the gut, overload from each side. Truly a thing of beauty.
**Secondary continues to play like it's possessed. The confidence the group is playing with hasn't been seen since the days of Merton Hanks' Crazy Chicken Dance. If they keep this up, the paper thrown at Clements and Lewis is going to look like a bargain.
**Special teams were huge today. On a day that the offense looked absolutely pathetic (8 first downs?!!), our best weapon may have been this all-league unit.
**Frank Gore outplayed the Busta Rhymes lookalike on a day when his mind had to have been elsewhere. The third quarter TD run on 4th-and-1 was one for the ages. Breaking tackles, cutting back, and turning on the burners. Start compiling that '07 highlight reel with that jaunt.

This win was for Mama Gore

No one can deny that there are some serious problems with this team, mainly on the offensive side (i.e. play-calling, blocking, play-calling, Alex Smith, play-calling, and play-calling). But I'll push the more unpleasant critical analysis off to tomorrow. For now, enjoy the fact that the Niners are 2-0 for the first time since 1998 and (thanks to the Cards) alone atop the NFC West. This team has taken two division games that it probably would have folded and lost last year. And in-division games are extremely important for tie-breakers in what is sure to be a close division race when December rolls around. Hopefully we can keep collecting the Ws and stay in the thick of it. Now on to Three Rivers and a showdown of unbeatens. (Man, that sounds weird...)

Game Balls: Andy Lee and Nate Clements
Field position was critical all day in this scrappy defensive game. Lee helped make life miserable for the Lambs with his booming punts that pinned Bulger & Co. deep in their own territory. Clements led the secondary to another stellar game (despite all the yards given up) and may have saved the game with his forced fumble/touchback.

The OC

No - not THAT one. I'm talking about offensive coordinators. The 6 years where The Mikes (Holmgren and Shanahan) were calling plays for the offense saw some of the most explosive offenses in NFL history. Unfortunately since then, we've been stuck with the following cast of clowns:

*A guy who needed tutoring because he had been out of football for 3 years
*A genius, who later as a head coach, decided to kickoff after winning the OT coin toss
*Mooch calling plays for a couple years, which actually went fine
*The Greg Knapp Disaster
*This weirdo - who no one can or should remember under Coach 3-Martini Practice
*Mike McCarthy, who managed to parlay leadership of the worst offense in the NFL into a head coaching gig. Even Donald Trump couldn't spin a turd like that into gold.
*A single season of Norv Turner, the only bona fide OC we've had in the past 12 years.

The new kid in the booth is Jim Hostler. The Niners kept him on to maintain continuity for Alex Smith and to ensure the youngster didn't have to learn a third system in three years. Since this is Hostler's first year as an OC, the fans are going to have to live through growing pains like on Monday night. Hopefully he works the kinks out quicker than most of his predecessors. Step 2 comes tomorrow morning.

Week 2 Picks

I'll put some free general NFL knowledge on you each week whether you want it or not. Remember, you get what you pay for, especially since these aren't even against the spread. But gambling's bad as are movies about it. Al Pacino almost destroyed his legacy by taking the paycheck for this craptacular wonder. Anyways, onto this week's picks with winners in bold.

Day Games
Carolina @ Houston, Cincy @ Cleveland, ATLiens @ Jacksonville, Packers @ Jints, Bills @ Pittsburgh, Saints @ Bucs, Colts @ Titans, Seachickens @ The Leinarts, Vikings @ Lions, Forces of Evil @ Dolphins, Jets @ Ravens, Chiefs @ Bears, Raiders @ Broncos

Game of the Week
Chargers @ The New England Cheating Bastards

Monday Night Anti-Climax of The Week
Washington Native Americans @ Eagles

Week 1: 10-6 // 2007 Season: 10-6

Week 2 Preview

Now it's the Niners' turn to be the 3-point road underdog in what is sure to be a hard-fought division game against the Rams. But none of the Nattering Nabobs are buying it. Peter King, Pete Prisco, practically everyone at ESPN, and 3/4 of the Inside the NFL crew think we're headed for a fall.

I understand the skepticism about the Niners based on their offensive performance from Monday. I'm also not 100% convinced their defense is as ferocious as we think. A couple more weeks of that level of play against better competition would help me get there.

But has no one looked at the injury report? 3/5 of their OL and starting CB Tye Hill are out. Their big free agent pickup, Drew Bennett, is coming back from a thigh injury. The Niners miraculously came out of last week's slugfest with no injuries of consequence. And what on Earth is all this talk about the Rams' "arsenal of weapons". I'm sorry but Isaac Bruce looks like he's pushing 50, Torry Holt is also banged up, and Steven Jackson had a very rough opening. Even though that trio can go off at any time, this is no longer the Greatest Show on Turf. The story may be different if the Lambs were fully healthy but I think the Niners are going to be able to dictate play on both sides of the ball.

Predictions:
*Frank Gore picks up where he left off last year and goes for 120 yards and a pair of scores.
*Alex Smith passes for 180 a score and and INT ( I'm not sure this cat is EVER going to be a 300+ yard passer. At least he won't be until he stops dancing while he throws or brainwashes himself into thinking every drive has to take under 3 minutes)
*The Disease has 4 catches for 60 yards - and wipes each one out with a 15-yard celebration penalty after the play.
*Defense pressures Bulger but has trouble actually bringing him down. Does force him into throwing a pair of INTs to go with his TD and 220 yards.
*Steven Jackson comes closer to last year's form but only has 75 yards on 25 carries.

RESULT - NINERS 24, LAMBS 10

Niners Ranked 3rd to Last In Team Value - Forbes

This is a disgrace but hardly surprising. Full list here.

The troubling thing here is the bulk of a team's value is derived from its stadium deal and merchandising. The latter is remedied by winning, which ensures that people aren't embarrassed to wear your gear in public. The Yorks finally got this and the Niners should start moving Ls into the Ws column soon. But the stadium situation is dire. I'm the last person to wish well for the Yorks, but my fear is that some predator from down south will swoop in and take this team to LA. And if you as one of The Faithful aren't worried about that, you are a fool. While Gavin Newsom tends to his hair, the stadium is sinking into the Bay along with any hope of building a better facility.

I'll say this once: the City of San Francisco does not deserve its NFL team. The team belongs to the Bay Area, with the fan base largely in the North and South Bay regions. Residents of the City of San Francisco are satisfied to eat garlic fries while vacantly staring at a pitiful baseball team in a gem of a stadium. To be fair the Giants ponied up their own money, but that has forced them to make a deal with the Devil to keep butts in the seats, pay down their debt, and force their fans to cheer for a complete ass that detests them. The Niners do not deserve the same fate. I'll save my full tirade on the stadium situation for the bye week, but needless to say this pisses me off. Unforgivable.

BrownMagic is almost this angry

R.I.P. Mama Gore

From Maiocco - Frank Gore's mother, Liz, passed away yesterday. No wise-ass commentary from me on this one. FG was very close to his mother so hopefully he and his family pull through this.

If you wish to send your condolences you can to:
Frank Gore
c/o the 49ers Public Relations Dept.
4949 Centennial Boulevard, Santa Clara, CA 95054.

4th-and-Why The F Didn't He Go For It?!

"I thought about it at the time, running it hard, but we're on the road," Nolan said. "Make it a touchdown game. I wouldn't change anything." -Mike Nolan (11/26/2006)

"Without question, knowing what I know now [I would have gone for it]. But knowing what I knew then, that's exactly what I would have done." -Mike Nolan (9/12/2007)

Apparently Coach Armani remembers the last time we played in Saint Louie. The decision to not go for a critical first down last year on 4th-and-a hair ended up costing us the game. We took a 4 point lead, went into a prevent, and choked the win away.

It sounds like Coach Nolan took that loss hard and he should have. Humble fans can forget that this is his first head coaching gig and he is maturing along with this team. The team can take a big step this week by showing it can come off an emotional win and handle business on the road.

Videogate

UPDATE 2 - Color me wrong. John Clayton (and apparently the rest of the league) thinks the penalty was not severe enough.

UPDATE - The Commish was swift and severe. Although this line makes me wonder who is working the switch at the AP: "If the Patriots lose their first-rounder next season they still will have a first-round pick, obtained from San Francisco in the deal that brought Moss from Oakland." That doesn't even make sense.

"If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying."

I've heard that quote more in the past 48 hours about this whole Pats scandal (if you really want to call it that) than I had in the past several years. LT said it yesterday in a press conference to tweak them ahead of their mammoth showdown in Foxboro this Sunday. But some analysts were throwing up their hands in amazement at the fact that anyone cares. These are the same people that get on their high horses about Barry Bonds using flaxseed oil, Michael Vick being unaware that electricity and bullets can hurt a dog, and PacMan Jones' incredibly bad luck.

Most notably, Sean Salisbury, a middling NFL quarterback who used to announce fights between remote control robots, thinks that this whole issue is no big deal. "Cheating happens. Fine them and move on." Whenever you look less reasonable than Skip Bayless, you know you've taken the wrong side of an argument. And let's not minimize the impact of taping the opposing sideline's signals. Dan Marino and Brett Favre both said it offers the offense a HUGE advantage in calling plays against it. This is like looking at the other person's play selection in Madden - except something real is at stake. Makes Tom Brady look a little more human, doesn't it?

At the root of the story is the Pats and their organizational arrogance. They started out as America's darlings when they decided to forego individual player intros and walk out as a team before Super Bowl XXXVI. Everyone was so sick of the fawning over the heavily-favored Rams that it was refreshing to see a team that truly played like a...well, team. But over the years the same disease that has stricken the Red Sox has taken hold of the Pats: they are no longer underdogs and, in fact, perpetuate the very problem that makes many sane people turn away from sports. They cheat at will (this isn't the first time) and who would have thought the team-first Pats would sign locker room cancer, Randy Moss. These clowns have turned into every juggernaut that think the rules don't apply to him/them: Barry Bonds, Kobe Bryant, the Yankees, and the 90s Cowboys (aka the Forces of Evil).

This all goes back to Coach Hoodie. Phil Taylor has a great piece on this modern-day Machiavelli. To cheat even when you have the most loaded roster in the league smacks of the type of arrogance that says "I'm untouchable. The rules don't apply to me." Sports Guy mentioned Belichick's consigliere, Ernie Adams, in his piece yesterday. There's nothing like having a classmate from Andover spy for you to really endear yourself to the working class fan. Bottom line is the Pats should be punished and hard. If players can feel The Commish's wrath, so should coaches.

Cris Collinsworth said it best last night on Inside the NFL: "You know things are sad when you trust politicians more than you do the NBA or NFL."

Power Ranking Bonanza

The first week of games is in the books, so you know what that means: POWER RANKINGS!!!

CBS Sportsline here. SI.com here. ESPN here. Fox Sports here.

Notice a trend? We're #15 in 3 and #16 in the other having barely moved from where we started in the preseason. This is about fair. The 57 minutes of lackluster play were overshadowed by the frenzy of the last 3. But does anyone feel like they know more about this team than they did on Monday afternoon? Clearly the Nattering Nabobs don't and I can't say that I do either. What's clear is that the NFC is for the taking by damn-near anyone. Dr. Z (SI) has the Aints ranked a spot behind us. This may be slightly punitive but makes a point.

Aside from the Bears, not a single NFC team has reason to think it's a front-runner. The other conference favorite (Saints) got whooped on. The Cowboys gave up 35 points to a Jints team that needed a MASH unit by the end. The Eagles couldn't put away an over-the-hill Pack at Lambeau. The Lambs got handled by the Panthers. And the Seachickens hardly acquitted themselves in a lackluster win over a Bucs team that lost Cadillac Williams early. All I'm saying is, this conference is wide open. Granted whoever takes it will become a sacrificial lamb at the altar of the football gods. And one of this almighty and powerful trio will be holding the knife.

Although that may be down to two if The Commish comes down hard on the Pats for CHEATING LIKE A BUNCH OF BITCHES.

It's too bad for Belichick that T's a Jets fan - these gangsters deserve each other. Also Tony so much more style than Mr. Cutoff Hoodie that they can't be seen in public together.

Even the Sports Guy has removed his lips from Belichick's sphincter to vilify what the coach has done. And rightfully so. I'm pretty wound up (and kind of busy at work) so I'm going to defer my post on this to tomorrow.