As Promised...

Here is a week-by-week look at what to expect. Apparently my call of 10-6 isn't as insane as even I thought. It'll take some luck and more consistency than we've seen up to this point. But it's doable. Anyway, let's take a look at how the season will unfold.
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9/10 (7:15 pm) vs. Arizona
I expect a win and if there’s a game (throwbacks, home opener, Bill Walsh tribute, ad nauseam) that this team has to take, it is this one. Look for a score in the 34-31 range…with the home team snatching it.

9/16 (10:00 am) @ St. Louis
Jackson (58 yds and a fumble)and Bulger (22-42, 167 yds, 1 TD) were unimpressive today. This game will be hard fought even though we seem to have their number (3-1 in the past 4 matchups). I expect a game that comes down to the wire. The Niners go to 2-0 after bottling up the Fakest Show on Turf.

9/23 (10:00 am) @ Pittsburgh
Big Ben has officially shaken off his 2006 funk. Three Rivers is also one of the hardest places to play in the league. The dream of an undefeated season comes to an end.

9/30 (1:05 pm) vs. Seattle
This game will tell us whether to prep for a run at the NFC West title or be content with another season of "development". I look for Alex Smith to recreate his coming out game from last season and take the NFC West lead for the first time in several years.

10/7 (1:15 pm) vs. Baltimore
The Ravens are one of the best teams in the AFC, aka The Big Boy Conference. Unless the visitors look past this game, the Niners go into the bye week on a low note.

10/14 Bye – Check out Pats-Cowboys and Saints-Seahawks for your weekly fix.

10/21 (10:00 am) @ NY Giants
The Jints seem like they are going to be put together with duct tape at the rate they are withstanding injuries. With two weeks to prepare for this game, the Niners will smack the Giants in the mouth (34-17) and go to 4-2.

10/21 (1:15 pm) vs. New Orleans
Bush v. Gore II. Another opportunity to make a statement and avenge last year’s embarrassment. All units will have to be at their best to slow down the still-potent attack of the Saints, even though they got hit by a temporary case of ED this week. Speaking of which there are WAY too many Cialis/Viagra ads on during games. I want to watch football - not implications of senior citizen sex. That shit is gross.

11/4 (10:00 am) @ Atlanta
Do not for a second think we will lose this game. I’m convinced Nolan will disembowel Kwame if we don’t take this one. That’s the only reason he’s still on the roster.

11/12 (5:30 pm) @ Seattle
Primetime game for the NFC West lead. Unfortunately, I see Seattle taking this one. Their defense and home crowd carry them to a win. The Niners drop to 5-4.

11/18 (1:15 pm) vs. St. Louis
This is a win. The Rams always have trouble outdoors and especially at Candlestick.

11/25 (1:05 pm) @ Arizona
The defense finally gels and takes this game over. Niners at 7-4. The bandwagon no longer accepting applicants as we head into the stretch.

12/2 (10:00 am) @ Carolina
Bandwagon starts accepting new members as lily-livered Bay Area fans bail like passengers on the Titanic after tough loss in North Cackalacka.

12/9 (1:05 pm) vs. Minnesota
Thank God this game is at home because it looks like the Vikings have resurrected the Purple People Eaters. Adrian Peterson’s RoY campaign runs into a brick wall called Patrick Willis. Joe Nedney wins it at the gun.

12/15 (5:15) vs. Cincinnati
Short week and a physical game the week before results in the team sleep-walking through this game and dropping to 8-6.

12/23 (5:15 pm) vs. Tampa Bay
Mark my words – this will not be a flex game (Bears-Seahawks will) so you'll still have your chance to finish up Christmas shopping this evening. Jeff Garcia gets rocked in front of his friends and family. But he goes home to this (NSFW version) every night. So he’s still a big winner and apparently straight - or doing one hell of a job fooling her. (Granted her IQ is probably less than her bust measurement...)

12/30 (10:00 am) @ Cleveland
Unless this game is played in slush and wind, the Niners close out The Brady Bunch and end the year at 10-6.
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All this prognostication will (thankfully) come to an end at 7:24 pm tomorrow as some kicker's foot meets pigskin. I was lucky enough to get an invite to the game so will post reactions on Tuesday morning, rather than during (or immediately after) as I will with all other contests. GO NINERS!!!